Memories: A Story of German LoveMüller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Religion
Memories: A Story of German Love
Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max), 1823-1900; Religion historians -- Germany -- Biography
We lay heart to heart. My lips closed the lips upon which had just now
hung the blessing of my life, with a gentle kiss. Time stood still for
us. The world about us disappeared. Then a deep sigh escaped from her
breast. "May God forgive me for this rapture," she whispered. "Leave me
alone now, I cannot endure more. _Auf wiedersehen_! my friend, my loved
one, my savior."
These were the last words I ever heard from her. But no--I had reached
home and was lying upon my bed in troubled dreams. It was past midnight
when the Hofrath entered my room. "Our angel is in Heaven," said he;
"here is the last greeting she sends you." With these words he gave me a
letter. It enclosed the ring which she had given me, and I once had
given her, with the words: "_As God wills_." It was wrapped in an old
paper, whereon she had some time written the words I spoke to her when a
child: "What is thine, is mine. Thy Marie."
Hours long, we sat together without speaking. It was a spiritual swoon
which Heaven sends us when the load of pain becomes greater than we can
bear. At last the old man arose, took my hand and said: "We see each
other to-day for the last time, for you must leave here, and my days are
numbered. There is but one thing I must say to you--a secret which I
have carried all my life, and confessed to no one. I have always longed
to confess it to some one. Listen to me. The spirit which has left us
was a beautiful spirit, a majestic, pure soul, a deep, true heart. I
knew one spirit as beautiful as hers--still more beautiful. It was her
mother. I loved her mother, and she loved me. We were both poor, and I
struggled with life to obtain an honorable position both on her account
and my own. The young Prince saw my bride and loved her. He was my
Prince; he loved her ardently. He was ready to make any sacrifice and to
elevate her, the poor orphan, to the rank of Princess. I loved her so
that I sacrificed the happiness of my love for her. I forsook my native
land and wrote her I would release her from her vow. I never saw her
again, except on her death-bed. She died in giving birth to her first
daughter. Now you know why I loved your Marie, and prolonged her life
from day to day. She was the only being that linked my heart to this
life. Bear life as I have borne it. Lose not a day in useless
lamentation. Help mankind whenever you can. Love them and thank God
that you have seen and known and loved on this earth such a human heart
as hers--and that you have lost it."
"_As God will_." said I, and we parted for life.
* * * * *
And days and weeks and months and years have flown. Home is a stranger
to me, and a foreign land is my home. But her love remains with me, and
as a tear drops into the ocean, so has her love dropped into the living
ocean of humanity and pervades and embraces millions--millions of the
"strange people" whom I have so loved from childhood.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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