Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and ArtistBernhardt, Sarah
General
Memories of My Life: Being My Personal, Professional, and Social Recollections as Woman and Artist
Bernhardt, Sarah
Actors -- Biography; Bernhardt, Sarah, 1844-1923; Women -- Biography
Mme. Guérard adored the proud rebelliousness of my nature, my pretty
face, and the slenderness of my figure; Mlle. De Brabender was touched
by my delicate health. She endeavored to comfort me when I was jealous
for not being loved as much as my sister, but what she liked best about
me was my voice. She always declared that my voice was modulated for
prayers and my delight in the convent appeared to her quite natural. She
loved me with a gentle, pious affection, and Mme. Guérard loved me with
bursts of paganism. These two women, whose memory is still dear to me,
shared me between them and made the best of my good qualities and my
faults. I certainly owe to both of them this study of myself and the
vision I have of myself.
The day was destined to end in the strangest of fashions. Mme. Guérard
had gone back to her apartment upstairs and I was lying on a little
straw armchair which was the most ornamental piece of furniture in my
room. I felt very drowsy and was holding Mlle. De Brabender’s hand in
mine, when the door opened and my aunt entered, followed by my mother. I
can see them now, my aunt in her dress of puce silk trimmed with fur,
her brown velvet hat tied under her chin with long, wide strings, and
mamma, who had taken off her dress and put on a white woolen dressing
gown. She always detested keeping on her dress in the house, and I
understood by her change of costume that everyone else had gone, and
that my aunt was ready to leave. I got up from my armchair, but mamma
made me sit down again.
“Rest yourself thoroughly,” she said, “for we are going to take you to
the theater this evening, to the Français.” I felt sure that this was
just a bait and I would not show any sign of pleasure, although in my
heart I was delighted at the idea of going to the Français. The only
theater I knew anything of was the Robert Houdin, to which I was taken
sometimes with my sister, and I fancy that it was for her benefit we
went as I was really too old to care for that kind of performance.
“Will you come with us?” mamma said, turning to Mlle. De Brabender.
“Willingly, madame,” replied this dear creature. “I will go home and
change my dress.”
My aunt laughed at my sullen looks.
“Little fraud,” she said, as she went away, “you are hiding your
delight. Ah, well, you will see some actresses to-night!”
“Is Rachel going to act?” I asked.
“Oh, no, she is ill.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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