Merrie England in the Olden Time, Vol. 2Daniel, George
History
Merrie England in the Olden Time, Vol. 2
Daniel, George
England -- Social life and customs
A quip that induced on the part of Mr. Hatband a loud laugh, while the
more sombre features of brother Stiflegig volunteered convulsions, as if
they had been acted upon by a galvanic battery. Mr. Rasp coolly
reminded Mr. Merripall that the grapes were sour, Brother Pledge having
black-balled him. This drew forth a retort courteous, delivered with
provoking serenity, that the fiction of the ball came most opportunely
from a gentleman who had always three blue ones at everybody's service!
The furnace that glowed in Mr. Rasp's two eyes, and the hearings of his
bosom discovered the volcano that burned beneath his black velvet
vest. His waistband seemed ready to burst. Never before did he look so
belicose! Now, Mr. Bosky, who loved fun much, but harmony more, thinking
the joke had been carried quite far enough, threw in a conciliatory word
by way of soothing angry feelings, which so won the Lumber Trooper's
naturally kind heart, that he rose from his seat.
“Brother Merripall, you are a chartered libertine, and enjoy the
privilege of saying what you will. But--you were a little too hard upon
the troop--indeed you were! My grandfather was a Lumber Trooper--my
father, too--you knew my father, Marmaduke Merripall.”
“And I knew a right honourable man! And I know another right honourable
man, my very good friend, his son! And--but------”
'Tis an old saying and a true one, that adversity tries friends. So does
a momentary quarrel, or what is more germane to our present purpose,
a mischievous badinage, in which great wits and small ones too, will
occasionally indulge. Mr. Merripall had been wront--good naturedly!--to
make Mr. Rasp his butt; who, though he was quite big enough for one,
sometimes felt the sharp arrows of the comical coffin-maker's wit a
thorn in his “too--too solid flesh.” The troop was his tender point.
“And who has not his tender point?” said Mr. Bosky, “except the man that
caught cold of his own heart, and died of it!”
The hand of Mr. Rasp was instantly stretched forth, and met more than
half way by that of Mr. Merripall.
“Brother,” said the president, “let me make amends to the troop by
requesting you will propose me as a member. Only,” and he shot a sly
glance from his eye, “save me from the balls, black and blue, of that
Presbyterian pawnbroker, Posthumus Pledge of Pye-corner.”
Mr. Rasp promised to comply, and moreover to set forth his friend's
military prowess to the best advantage.
“I think,” said he, “your division stormed the Press-yard, and captured
the whipping-post, during the Aldersgate Street Volunteer campaigning in
1805.”
“Right, brother Ralph, and when the Finsbury awkward squad routed your
left wing in the City Road, and you all ran helter-skelter into the
boiled buttock of beef shop in the Old Bailey, we valiant sharp-shooters
protected your flank, and covered your inglorious retreat!” And he
entertained the company with this appropriate recitation:--
When all were in alarms,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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