Humorous stories, American; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; War stories, American
G. Er ist schon wieder da, und sagt dass er nur _Sie_ sehen will.
(_Hands the card._) Auch—
WIRTHIN. Gott im Himmel—der Vater der Mädchen! (_Puts the card in her
pocket._) Er wünscht die _Töchter_ nicht zu treffen? Ganz recht; also,
Du schweigst.
G. Zu Befehl.
WIRTHIN. Lass ihn hereinkommen.
G. Ja, Frau Wirthin!
Exit Gretchen.
WIRTHIN. (_Solus._) Ah—jetzt muss ich ihm die Wahrheit offenbaren.
Enter Mr. Stephenson.
STEPHENSON. Good morning, Mrs. Blumenthal—keep your seat, keep your
seat, please. I’m only here for a moment—merely to get your report, you
know. (_Seating himself._) Don’t want to see the girls—poor things,
they’d want to go home with me. I’m afraid I couldn’t have the heart to
say no. How’s the German getting along?
WIRTHIN. N-not very well; I was afraid you would ask me that. You see,
they hate it, they don’t take the least interest in it, and there isn’t
anything to incite them to an interest, you see. And so they can’t talk
at all.
S. M-m. That’s bad. I had an idea that they’d get lonesome, and have to
seek society; and then, of course, my plan would work, considering the
cast-iron conditions of it.
WIRTHIN. But it hasn’t so far. I’ve thrown nice company in their
way—I’ve done my very best, in every way I could think of—but it’s no
use; they won’t go out, and they won’t receive anybody. And a body can’t
blame them; they’d be tongue-tied—couldn’t do anything with a German
conversation. Now when I started to learn German—such poor German as I
know—the case was very different: my intended was a German. I was to
live among Germans the rest of my life; and so I _had_ to learn. Why,
bless my heart! I nearly _lost_ the man the first time he asked me—I
thought he was talking about the measles. They were very prevalent at
the time. Told him I didn’t want any in mine. But I found out the
mistake, and I was fixed for him next time... Oh, yes, Mr. Stephenson, a
sweetheart’s a prime incentive!
S. (_Aside._) Good soul! she doesn’t suspect that my plan is a double
scheme—includes a speaking knowledge of German, which I am bound they
shall have, and the keeping them away from those two young
fellows—though if I had known that those boys were going off for a
year’s foreign travel, I—however, the girls would never learn that
language at home; they’re here, and I won’t relent—they’ve got to stick
the three months out. (_Aloud._) So they are making poor progress? Now
tell me—will they learn it—after a sort of fashion, I mean—in the three
months?
WIRTHIN. Well, now, I’ll tell you the only chance I see. Do what I will,
they won’t answer my German with anything but English; if that goes on,
they’ll stand stock still. Now I’m willing to do this: I’ll straighten
everything up, get matters in smooth running order, and day after
to-morrow I’ll go to bed sick, and stay sick three weeks.
S. Good! You are an angel! I see your idea. The servant girl—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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