Flea-Bitten synod, an assembly brewed Of clerks and elders _ana_, like the rude Chaos of Presbyt'ry, where laymen guide With the tame woolpack clergy by their side. Who asked the banns 'twixt these discoloured mates? A strange grotesco this; the Church and states, Most divine tick-tack, in a piebald crew, To serve as table-men of divers hue! She, that conceived an Ethiopian heir By picture, when the parents both were fair, 10 At sight of you had born a dappled son, You checkering her imagination. Had Jacob's flock but seen you sit, the dams Had brought forth speckled and ring-streakéd lambs. Like an impropriator's motley kind Whose scarlet coat is with a cassock lined; Like the lay-thief in a canonic weed, Sure of his clergy ere he did the deed; Like Royston crows, who are (as I may say) Friars of both the Orders, Black and Gray; 20 So mixed they are, one knows not whether 's thicker, A layer of burgess, or a layer of vicar. Have they usurped what Royal Judah had, And now must Levi too part stakes with Gad? The sceptre and the crosier are the crutches, Which, if not trusted in their pious clutches, Will fail the cripple State. And were 't not pity But both should serve the yardwand of the City? That Isaac might stroke his beard and sit Judge of [Greek: eis Haidou] and _elegerit_? 30 Oh that they were in chalk and charcoal drawn! The miscellany-satyr and the faun And all th' adulteries of twisted nature But faintly represent this riddling feature; Whose members being not tallies, they'll not own Their fellows at the Resurrection. Strange scarlet doctors these! They'll pass in story For sinners half refined in Purgatory, Or parboiled lobsters, where there jointly rules The fading sables and the coming gules. 40 The flea that Falstaff damned thus lewdly shows Tormented in the flames of Bardolph's nose. Like him that wore the dialogue of cloaks This shoulder John-a-Stiles, that John-a-Nokes; Like Jews and Christians in a ship together With an old neck-verse to distinguish either; Like their intended discipline to boot, Or whatsoe'er hath neither head nor foot; Such may their stript-stuff-hangings seem to be, Sacrilege matched with codpiece simony. 50 Be sick and dream a little, you may then Fancy these linsey-woolsey vestry-men. Forbear, good Pembroke, be not over-daring. Such company may chance to spoil thy swearing, And thy drum-major oaths, of bulk unruly, May dwindle to a feeble 'By my truly'! He that the noble Percy's blood inherits, Will he strike up a Hotspur of the spirits? He'll fright the Obadiahs out of tune With his uncircumciséd Algernoon; 60 A name so stubborn, 'tis not to be scanned By him in Gath with the six-fingered hand.