she can be in search of legal advice gratis? It is plain that she is
in doubt, alas, even where to find the information of which she is in
search. Her soft white hand wanders from tome to tome, and drags down
one after another from its dusty shelf, until she has peopled the
sunbeams anew with motes; but her large gray eyes find nothing to arrest
them as they wander over the arid pages, although they grow weary with
their task.
At last, however, they seem to have been more fortunate. For the first
time, my Lady takes her seat beside the slanting desk, and with her head
supported by her hands, like one who is in need of all her wits, she
reads on patiently enough. She cons the matter over twice or thrice,
then sighs, and putting a thin slip of paper in the book to mark the
place, returns it to its shelf, and pursues her search as before. Out of
several score of volumes, four only seem to have served her purpose, and
even from them it is evident that she has gleaned no comfort, but rather
confirmation of some fear. Her face is more hopeless than it was a while
ago; her sigh--and she sighs deep and often--has despair in it, as
well as sorrow. From her wearied eyes, as she gazes upon the opened
casement--through which comes a dreamy music in the flutter of the young
leaves on a neighbouring elm, and the silver leap of the fountain on the
lawn--tear follows tear, although she knows it not, and glides down the
new-made furrows in her cheeks.
The luncheon gong was beaten an hour ago, and then was taken out into
the garden for her especial behoof, and beaten again; but my Lady heard
it not. She has neither eyes nor ears for the present at all. She is
thinking of some Future more dark and terrible than death itself, a day
of dishonour and disgrace, that is creeping slowly but surely upon her
and hers. The young leaves babble of it already, and the fountain with
its talking water, and every whispering breath of April wind; and now
she listens to them; and now she tries in vain to think and think;
and now she listens to them perforce again. They are comforters these
mysterious voices, and do but pretend to prattle of her woes, in order
that they may woo her to oblivion; for presently the tired arms can no
more bear the burden of that piteous face, but sink down on the desk,
and on those soft and rounded cushions droops the careworn head; and the
eyelids that have scarce shut throughout the livelong night, nor through
many a night before, are closed in slumber. The bee-music, the falling
water, and the lullaby of the April leaves, through Nature's kindly
hands, have given my Lady a nepenthe draught; and, thanks to it, she has
forgotten her woes; nay, more, it has substituted for them joys borrowed
from the unreturning Past, which, while we tarry in Dreamland, are as
real as any.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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