Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
When this accident occurred, he had been on a level with the sill and
just about to step warily on to it. The effect of the breaking of the
rung was to make him execute this movement at about fifteen times the
speed which he had contemplated. There was a moment in which the whole
universe seemed to dissolve, and then he was on the sill, his fingers
clinging with a passionate grip to a small piece of lead piping that
protruded from the wall and his legs swinging dizzily over the abyss.
The ladder, urged outward by his last frenzied kick, tottered for an
instant, then fell to the ground.
The events just described, though it seemed longer to the principal
actor in them, had occupied perhaps six seconds. They left Mr. Carmody
in a world that jumped and swam before his eyes, feeling as though
somebody had extracted his heart and replaced it with some kind of
lively firework. This substitute, whatever it was, appeared to be
fizzing and leaping inside his chest, and its gyrations interfered with
his breathing. For some minutes his only conscious thought was that he
felt extremely ill. Then becoming by slow degrees more composed, he was
enabled to examine the situation.
It was not a pleasant one. At first, it had been agreeable enough
simply to allow his mind to dwell on the fact that he was alive and in
one piece. But now, probing beneath this mere surface aspect of the
matter, he perceived that, taking the most conservative estimate, he
must acknowledge himself to be in a peculiarly awkward position.
The hour was about a quarter to six. He was thirty feet or so above the
ground. And, though reason told him that the window sill on which he
sat was thoroughly solid and quite capable of bearing a much heavier
weight, he could not rid himself of the feeling that at any moment it
might give way and precipitate him into the depths.
Of course, looked at in the proper spirit, his predicament had all
sorts of compensations. The medical profession is agreed that there is
nothing better for the health than the fresh air of the early morning:
and this he was in a position to drink into his lungs in unlimited
quantities. Furthermore, nobody could have been more admirably situated
than he to compile notes for one of those Country Life articles which
are so popular with the readers of daily papers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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