Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
"I wouldn't call it mooning," said Hugo thoughtfully, speaking like a
man who is an expert in these matters and can appraise subtle values.
"I wouldn't say it had quite reached the mooning stage yet. But I have
hopes. You see, John is a bloke whom Nature intended for a married man.
He's a confirmed settler-down, the sort of chap who...."
"You needn't go over all that again. I had the pleasure of hearing your
views on the subject that night in the lobby of the hotel."
"Oh, you did hear?" said Hugo, unabashed. "Well, don't you think I'm
right?"
"If you mean do I approve of Johnnie marrying Miss Molloy, I certainly
do not."
"But if you don't want him...."
"It has nothing to do with my wanting him or not wanting him. I don't
like Miss Molloy."
"Why not?"
"She's flashy."
"I would have said smart."
"I wouldn't." Pat, with an effort, recovered a certain measure of calm.
Wrangling, she felt, was beneath her. As she could not hit Hugo with
the basket in which she had carried two pounds of tea, a bunch of
roses, and a seed cake to her bedridden pensioner, the best thing to do
was to preserve a ladylike composure. "Anyway, you're probably taking a
lot for granted. Probably Johnnie isn't in the least attracted by her.
Has he ever given any sign of it?"
"Sign?" Hugo considered. "It depends what you mean by sign. You know
what old John is. One of these strong, silent fellows who looks on all
occasions like a stuffed frog."
"He doesn't."
"Pardon me," said Hugo firmly. "Have you ever seen a stuffed frog?
Well, I have. I had one for years when I was a kid. And John has
exactly the same power of expressing emotion. You can't go by what he
says or the way he looks. You have to keep an eye out for much subtler
bits of evidence. Now, last night he was explaining the rules of
cricket to this girl, and answering all her questions on the subject,
and, as he didn't at any point in the proceeding punch her on the
nose, one is entitled to deduce, I consider, that he must be strongly
attracted by her. Ronnie thinks so, too. So what I'm asking you to
do...."
"Good-bye," said Pat. They had reached the gate of the little drive
that led to her house, and she turned sharply.
"Eh?"
"Good-bye."
"But just a moment," insisted Hugo. "Will you...."
At this point he stopped in mid-sentence and began to walk quickly up
the road; and Pat, puzzled to conjecture the reason for so abrupt a
departure, received illumination a moment later when she saw her father
coming down the drive. Colonel Wyvern had been dealing murderously with
snails in the shadow of a bush, and the expression on his face seemed
to indicate that he would be glad to extend the treatment to Hugo.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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