Monks, Popes, and their Political IntriguesAlberger, John
History
Monks, Popes, and their Political Intrigues
Alberger, John
Catholic Church; Catholic Church -- United States; Church and state
St. Andrew being assaulted by the devil with an axe, and by a company of
imps with clubs, called for assistance on St. John, who responded with
a regiment of angels; and capturing the devils, chained them to the
ground. At this exploit St. Andrew laughed. The Emperor Maximus, having
cut St. Apia Tell into ten pieces, the angel Gabriel put him together
again. This contest of disintegration and recomposition was carried on
with much spirit between Maximus and Gabriel. Ten times a day for ten
consecutive days was the saint cut into ten pieces by the malice of the
one, and put together again by the anatomical skill of the other. St.
Martin of Tours, the patron saint of drunkards, whose festival was
formerly celebrated by the devout with banqueting, hilarity and
carousals, once, on a drunken frolic, divided his garments with a poor
soldier. At night, in a dream, he beheld Christ wearing the identical
garment he had given away. His mind became so impressed, probably
deranged, that he turned Catholic. The face of this saint was so
sanctimonious that it once paralyzed the arm of a robber, which was
raised to give him a death blow. He wrought many miracles; could raise
the dead to life. Clovis, after his Gothic victory, made him a rich
donation; and as the hero's war steed was in the saint's stable, he
proposed besides, to redeem it with the generous sum of 100 ducats, but
the pious horse refused to move until the sum was doubled. St. Anthony
saw a centaur in the desert. Finding the corpse of the hermit Paul in
the wilderness, and being too much prostrated through fasting to bury
it, two lions seeing his difficulty, politely offered their assistance;
and after digging a grave and depositing in it the hermit's corpse,
respectfully vanished away. St. Athanasius compliments him on account of
his holy abhorence of clean water, and for not having suffered his feet
to be contaminated with it except in cases of unavoidable necessity.
( _Vet. Ant_, c. 47 ), St. Palladus, seeing a hyena standing near his
cave, addressing it, asked: "What's the matter?" "Holy father," replied
the beast, "the odor of thy sanctity has reached me. I killed a sheep
last night, and want to confess and get absolution." St. Beuno caused
the earth to open and swallow a disappointed lover, who had cut off the
head of his mistress for her having refused to marry him. He then, by
saying mass over the remains of the unfortunate lady, caused her head
and body to reunite, and life to reanimate her frame. St. Nepomuk,
refusing to disclose the secret confessions of a queen, to her husband
who suspected her of infidelity, was doomed to suffer death by drowning.
This saint was canonized by Pope Innocent III., and his tomb is shown to
this day. But unfortunately for the infallibility of His Holiness, it
has been indisputably proved that no such person as St. Nepomuk ever
existed. A priest once travelling along a solitary road, heard a
most harmonious sound proceeding from a beehive.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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