"Ou, ay!" says she; "folks say as fools make good husbands, and I reckon
I'll have thee, if thou 'rt willing."
"Can'st cook?" says he.
"Ay, I can," says she.
"And scrub?" says he.
"Surely," says she.
"And mend my clouts?" says he.
"I can that," says she.
"I reckon thou 'lt do then as well as anybody," says he; "but what'll I
do about this wise woman?"
"Oh, wait a bit," says she, "something may turn up, and it'll not matter
if thou 'rt a fool, so long'st thou 'st got me to look after thee."
"That's true," says he, and off they went and got married. And she kept
his house so clean and neat, and cooked his dinner so fine, that one
night he says to her: "Lass, I'm thinking I like thee best of everything
after all."
"That's good hearing," says she, "and what then?"
"Have I got to kill thee, dost think, and take thy heart up to the wise
woman for that pottle o' brains?"
"Law, no!" says she, looking skeered, "I winna have that. But see here;
thou didn't cut out thy mother's heart, did thou?"
"No; but if I had, maybe I'd have got my pottle o' brains," says he.
"Not a bit of it," says she; "just thou take me as I be, heart and all,
and I'll wager I'll help thee read the riddles."
"Can thee so?" says he, doubtful like; "I reckon they're too hard for
women folk."
"Well," says she, "let's see now. Tell me the first"
"What runs without feet?" says he.
"Why, water!" says she.
"It do," says he, and scratched his head.
"And what's yellow and shining but isn't gold?"
"Why, the sun!" says she.
"Faith, it be!" says he. "Come, we'll go up to the wise woman at once,"
and off they went. And as they came up the pad, she was sitting at the
door, twining straws.
"Gode'en, missis," says he.
"Gode'en, fool," says she.
"I reckon I've fetched thee the right thing at last," says he.
The wise woman looked at them both, and wiped her spectacles.
"Canst tell me what that is as has first no legs, and then two legs, and
ends with four legs?"
And the fool scratched his head and thought and thought, but he couldn't
tell.
And the lass whispered in his ear:
"It's a tadpole."
"M'appen," says he then, "it may be a tadpole, missis."
The wise woman nodded her head.
"That's right," says she, "and thou 'st got thy pottle o' brains
already."
"Where be they?" says he, looking about and feeling in his pockets.
"In thy wife's head," says she. "The only cure for a fool is a good wife
to look after him, and that thou 'st got, so gode'en to thee!" And with
that she nodded to them, and up and into the house.
So they went home together, and he never wanted to buy a pottle o'
brains again, for his wife had enough for both.
The King of England and His Three Sons
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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