that she had understood that she was virtuous, but that she had been
unbecomingly brought up, and considered herself superior to her position.
Her ladyship confessed that she would not be surprised any day to hear
that Miss — had been obliged to leave B., for she had noticed that when a
female belonging to the lower orders strove to acquire knowledge
unsuitable to her station, the consequence was often ruin. It is almost
incredible—I was silent!—but when I reached home I was overcome with
shame and despair. This then was all that my love was worth; this was my
esteem for intelligence and learning; and I was the man who had thanked
God I was not as my neighbours at A.! If in the beginning I had
deliberately resolved that it would be a mistake to ally myself with
Melissa’s family because my usefulness might be diminished, something
might have been pleaded on my behalf, but I was without excuse. I had
sacrificed Melissa to no principle, but to detestable vulgar cowardice.
It was about two hours after noon when I returned, and in my confusion a
note from Melissa which lay upon my table was not at once noticed. It
had been written the day before, and it tenderly upbraided me because I
had been absent for a whole week. Enclosed was a copy of verses by Sir
Philip Sidney beginning, ‘My true love hath my heart.’ I mounted my
horse again, and in less than half an hour was in B. I flew to Melissa.
She received me in silence, but without rebuke. Indeed, before she had
time for a word, I had knelt at her feet and had covered my face with her
hands. On my way through the town I had seen my lady with her children,
and one or two fashionably-dressed women, friends who lived in B. My
lady was completing her purchases. I implored Melissa immediately to
come out with me. She was astonished and hesitated, but my impetuosity
was so urgent that she feared to refuse, and without any explanation I
almost dragged her into the street. On the opposite side I descried my
lady and her party. I crossed over, took Melissa’s arm in mine, came
close to them face to face, bowed, and then passed on. We then recrossed
the road and turned into Melissa’s house. I looked back and saw that
they were standing still, stricken with astonishment. We went into the
little parlour: nobody was there. Melissa threw her arms round my neck,
and happier tears were never shed. In all the long years which have now
gone by since that memorable day I have never had to endure from that
divine creature a word or a hint which even the suspicion of wounded
self-respect could interpret as a reproach.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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