Mr. Punch's History of Modern England, Vol. 2 (of 4).—1857-1874Graves, Charles L. (Charles Larcom)
History
Mr. Punch's History of Modern England, Vol. 2 (of 4).—1857-1874
Graves, Charles L. (Charles Larcom)
Great Britain -- History -- Victoria, 1837-1901 -- Humor
These remarks form the preface to a series of extracts from the verbatim
report of a Visiting Committee appointed in 1865 to inspect a little
seaside village. The name of the place is withheld, but _Punch_ pledges
his word for the absolute veracity of the reporter, adding that what the
Committee found in the way of stinks, putrid wells, foul accumulations,
and purblind or pig-headed people was to be found in nineteen out of
every twenty English villages, seaside or inland, rural or suburban. The
houses in a sample street were occupied by an old gardener, a small pork
butcher, three pilots, three sailors' wives, and two coast-guardsmen.
The description of the well in the pork butcher's house is enough, in
Dickens's phrase, to sicken a scavenger. But the complacent fatalism
which marked all these householders rises to a pitch of sublimity in the
immortal phrase of the first coast-guardsman:-
"Had the cholera in '44: ain't afeared of it. _Considers as it's a
natural went for the overplush of mankind._ When his time comes,
knows as he 'as got to go. Considers as his time wasn't come in
'44. Always keeps his house very clean: does all the scrubbing
himself, and paints his bedsteads and chests of drawers with red
lead and turps twice a year."
According to the local doctor, all the inhabitants of these houses were
drinking water strongly impregnated with lead, but "they appear to like
it so I can't help it, especially as the landlord refuses to alter the
pumps." The first pilot considered that he had a right to drink his own
sewage if he liked it. The second coast-guardsman "couldn't abear
chloride of lime," and, in general, disinfectants were dreaded more than
bad drains. An optimistic speaker on Social Science in October, 1859,
had declared that the advance of education was certainly very marked.
"Classes once illiterate now show a love of literature, the taste for
which has even reached our cabmen, who in demeanour and civility are not
the men they were." _Punch_ was sceptical about the cabman and printed
an ironical poem on his progress modelled on "She wore a wreath of
roses." The passages we have quoted show that six years later pork
butchers, pilots and coast-guardsmen left a good deal to be desired in
their knowledge of practical hygiene. But _Punch_ does not acquit the
landlords or Government officials, and, though no lover of despotism
abroad or at home, there were moments when he felt that a little more
"paternal government" would not be a bad thing. As he put it a little
later: "when _Mr. Punch_ is reminded of tanks, cisterns, bins and butts
for miles along a tainted shore being overlooked by a mythical Inspector
of Nuisances instead of being looked into, in his utter bewilderment he
is tempted to exclaim, Wanted a Bismarck."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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