Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known DramasAnstey, F.
General
Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas
Anstey, F.
Ibsen, Henrik, 1828-1906 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
[_Exulting with great intensity._] At last! Now I see him in there,
great and free again, mixing the powder in a spoon--with jam!... Now he
raises the spoon. Higher--higher still! [_A gulp is audible from
within._] There, didn't you hear a harp in the air? [_Quietly._] I can't
see the spoon any more. But there is one he is striving with, in blue
spectacles!
THE NEW ASSISTANT'S VOICE.
[_Within._] The Pill-Doctor Herdal has taken his own powder!
HILDA.
[_As if petrified._] That voice! _Where_ have I heard it before? No
matter--he has got the powder down! [_Waves a shawl in the air, and
shrieks with wild jubilation._] It's too awfully thrilling! My--_my_
Pill-Doctor!
[Illustration: "My, my Pill-doctor!"]
THE NEW ASSISTANT.
[_Comes out on verandah._] I am happy to inform you that--as, to avoid
accidents, I took the simple precaution of filling all the
dispensary-jars with camphorated chalk--no serious results may be
anticipated from Dr. Herdal's rashness. [_Removes spectacles._] Nora,
don't you know me?
HILDA.
[_Reflects._] I really don't remember having the pleasure---- And I'm
_sure_ I heard a harp in the air!
MRS. HERDAL.
I fancy, Miss Wangel, it must have been merely a bee in your bonnet.
THE NEW ASSISTANT.
[_Tenderly._] Still the same little singing-bird! Oh, Nora, my long-lost
lark!
HILDA.
[_Sulkily._] I'm _not_ a lark--I'm a bird of prey--and when I get my
claws into anything----!
THE NEW ASSISTANT.
Macaroons, for instance? I remember your tastes of old. See, Nora!
[_Produces a paper-bag from his coat-tail pocket._] They were fresh this
morning!
HILDA.
[_Wavering._] If you insist on calling me Nora, I think you must be just
a little mad yourself.
THE NEW ASSISTANT.
We are all a little mad--in Norway. But Torvald Helmer is sane enough
still to recognise his own little squirrel again! Surely, Nora, your
education is complete at last--you have gained the experience you
needed?
HILDA.
[_Nods slowly._] Yes, Torvald, you're right enough _there_. I have
thought things out for myself, and have got clear about them. And I have
quite made up my mind that Society and the Law are all wrong, and that I
am right.
HELMER.
[_Overjoyed._] Then you _have_ learnt the Great Lesson, and are fit to
undertake the charge of your children's education at last! You've no
notion how they've grown! Yes, Nora, our marriage will be a true
marriage now. You will come back to the Dolls' House, won't you?
HILDA-NORA-HELMER-WANGEL.
[_Hesitates._] Will you let me forge cheques if I do, Torvald?
HELMER.
[_Ardently._] All day. And at night, Nora, we will falsify the
accounts--together!
HILDA-NORA-HELMER-WANGEL.
[_Throws herself into his arms, and helps herself to macaroons._] That
will be fearfully thrilling! My--_my_ Manager!
DR. HERDAL.
[_Comes out very pale, from dispensary._] Hilda I _did_ take the---- I'm
afraid I interrupt you?
HELMER.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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