Hon. Bull spent 36 minutes making angry promenades up & down fence talking oratory in cow language. Then he go back to where Hon. Lunch was & spent rest of afternoon kicking it into river with horns. Hon. Sky begin to rain & them (2) twins made it wetter by weeps. All wish to go homewards, but that was umpossible, because Hon. Ottomobile were in field next to where Hon. Bull were setting down. At 7:26 p. m. time, Hon. Farmer come along with moustache under chin & offer to coax off Bull, price $5. “He are harmless,” interrogate Hon. Farmer. “I know it,” report Hon. Snow. “He merely chased us to tell us so.” We all got into car, pretty soonly, and start homewards amidst considerable drips and shipwrecked feelings of stumach. “Shakspeare never wrote nothing so tragic like to-day,” glub Hon. Snow. “Dearie, when you see Nature, you must take him like he comes,” snuggest Hon. Mrs. “He’ll have to come to my house, next time I see him,” he dib. When we arrive up to R. R. station, I was surprised: Hon. Snow stop ottomobile. “Togo,” he say so, “This are where you get off.” “You wish me depart homeless?” I snagger. “Since you are so smart at flagging bulls,” he resnort, “maybe you can wave red rags at engineer and tell him take you some place where picnics is unknown & brains unnecessary.” Speaking thusly, Hon. Ottomobile depart away full of honks. Hoping you are the same, Yours truly, _Hashimura Togo_. XVI AN ADVENTURE IN BANTING _To Editor Ladies’ Page which are never too fat to seem agreeable._ Hon Mr: Last job I were divorced from were home of Hon. Mrs Violet J. Bobb who resides in the suburbs of Illinois. This Hon. Bobb lady seem very wholsale about her beauty which contain 207 lbs complete poise. One day she approach to me & report, “Togo,” she say so, “I am going to have a reduction of myself.” “Will you be a great bargain?” I ask to know. “Ah surely yes!” she deploy. “I intend to be marked down from 207 lbs to 180 in one month.” I show my amazement by surprise. “What will Hon. Mr Bobb say,” I rebuke, “when he return to dinner each p. m. and find his Love growing less and less? Would you shrink thusly from the hand that feeds you?” “If that hand did not feed me so much, perhapsly I would be less mountainous,” she gollup. Yet she were determined. With immediate quickness she send to Hon. Dr Physician and get Aunty Fat cure. Following was recipe for it: 1st--Make things disagreeable for self and others. 2st--Dress in rubber shirt-waist & exercise until entirely unhappy. Keep on doing so. 3st--Avoid sleep by keeping awake. 4st--Avoid foods in any form. Beef tea & hard tack may be used as a substitute. Add Gen. Discomfort. 5st--Keep away from pleasant thoughts, as these are very fatty. 6st--Shun all proteids, caryatids and asteroids.