She sat in a basket-chair and on her knees lay her most recent prize,
"Home Influence," a fat handsome volume bound in purple cloth with gilt
edges. For lessons, Jane-Anne had won every prize open to her at the
asylum. Although she had only been there a year, and that year
constantly broken by long bouts of illness, she had gained seven books.
These, which included a Bible, a prayer-book, and church hymnal, with
one other comprised her whole library. The prizes were all of a moral
and edifying character, and Jane-Anne had read them over and over again
hungrily, with the passionate interest and enthusiasm which she brought
to everything outside her actual daily duties. And although she
whole-heartedly admired them she was yet subconsciously critical and
unsatisfied. She regarded her prizes with the greatest respect.
Familiarity had, so far, bred no contempt for them in her mind, but all
the time she felt that there was something lacking. Although they were
the only books she possessed, they were not the only ones she had read.
In the previous autumn, her mother’s mistress, Lady Dursley, had
commanded her aunt to take the child for a change to their place in
Gloucestershire, accompanying the order with a liberal cheque for
travelling expenses. The family was in Scotland and most of the big
house shut up, and nearly all the servants were making holiday, except
the housekeeper, an old friend of Mrs. Dew, and one elderly
kitchen-maid. But the great library was open, for a young man had been
sent down to catalogue the books. He was an intelligent young man and
took a fancy to Jane-Anne and had her with him a great deal. He found
her books he thought good for her, and on departure presented her with
the little green-covered "Children’s Treasury," compiled by Palgrave.
In this Jane-Anne read constantly and carefully, not because she was
particularly attracted by the poems, though some of them she loved and
learned by heart, but because whenever she came across any poetry she
searched through it eagerly in the hope of finding a poem her father
used to repeat to her. She had read and re-read the little green book
unceasingly, but nowhere could she find her poem.
Her father died before she was five years old, but Jane-Anne’s
recollection of him was curiously vivid, and at this very moment her
mind strove to materialise a memory elusive in some ways as a puff of
smoke, sharp and defined in others as a tongue of leaping flame against
a midnight sky.
The moment Mrs. Dew had safely disappeared into the house the child
dragged off the pie-dish and cast it violently on the grass at her feet.
Then she lay back in her chair, her eyes dreamy and pensive, though ever
and again she knit her black eyebrows in her effort to remember.
Her thin hands lay folded above the unopened volume on her knees and she
sat very still.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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