His eyes flamed until their blue looked all black, and his brows grew
straight over them sharply, making his face almost stern. . . . There
came swift visions of renouncing his present life; of going with her--
anywhere: to tell her all, beg her forgiveness, and begin life over
again, admitting that this attempt at expiation was a mistake; to have
his conscience clear of secret, and trust her kindness. For now he was
sure that Mrs. Falchion meant to make his position as a clergyman
impossible; to revenge herself on him for no wrong that, as far as he
knew, he ever did directly to her. But to tell this girl, or even
her father or mother, that he had been married, after a shameful,
unsanctified fashion, to a savage, with what came after, and the awful
thing that happened--he who ministered at the altar! Now that he looked
the thing in the face it shocked him. No, he could not do it.
She said to him, while he looked at her as though he would read her
through and through, though his mind was occupied with a dreadful
possibility beyond her:
"Why do you look so? You are stern. You are critical. Have I--
disimproved so?"
The words were full of a sudden and natural womanly fear, that something
in herself had fallen in value. They had a pathos so much the more
moving because she sought to hide it.
There swam before his eyes the picture of happiness from which she
herself had roused him when she came. He involuntarily, passionately,
caught her hand and pressed it to his lips twice; but spoke nothing.
"Oh! oh!--please!" she said. Her voice was low and broken, and she
spoke appealingly. Could he not see that he was breaking her heart,
while filling it also with unbearable joy? Why did he not speak and make
this possible, and not leave it a thing to flush her cheeks, and cause
her to feel he had acted on a knowledge he had no right to possess till
he had declared himself in speech? Could he not have spared her that?--
This Christian gentleman, whose worth had compassed these mountains and
won the dwellers among them--it was bitter. Her pride and injured heart
rose up and choked her.
He let go her hand. Now his face was partly turned from her, and she saw
how thin and pale it was. She saw, too, what I had seen during the past
week, that his hair had become almost white about the temples; and the
moveless sadness of his position struck her with unnatural force, so
that, in spite of herself, tears came suddenly to her eyes, and a slight
moan broke from her. She would have run away; but it was too late.
He saw the tears, the look of pity, indignation, pride, and love in her
face.
"My love!" he cried passionately. He opened his arms to her.
But she stood still. He came very close to her, spoke quickly, and
almost despairingly: "Ruth, I love you, and I have wronged you; but here
is your place, if you will come."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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