I drew his hand down from my shoulder and pressed it. It was cold.
He withdrew his eyes from the mountain, and said: "I have had dreams,
Marmion, and they are over. I lived in one: to expiate--to wipe out--
a past, by spending my life for others. The expiation is not enough.
I lived in another: to win a woman's love; and I have, and was caught up
by it for a moment, and it was wonderful. But it is over now, quite
over. . . . And now for her sake renunciation must be made, before
I have another dream--a long one, Marmion."
I had forebodings, but I pulled myself together and said firmly: "Roscoe,
these are fancies. Stop it, man. You are moody. Come, let us walk, and
talk of other things."
"No, we will not walk," he said, "but let us sit there on the coping and
be quiet--quiet in that roar between the hills." Suddenly he swung
round, caught me by the shoulders and held me gently so.
"I have a pain at my heart, Marmion, as if I'd heard my death sentence;
such as a soldier feels who knows that Death looks out at him from iron
eyes. You smile: I suppose you think I am mad."
I saw that it was best to let him speak his mind. So I answered: "Not
mad, my friend. Say on what you like. Tell me all you feel. Only, for
God's sake be brave, and don't give up until there's occasion. I am sure
you exaggerate your danger, whatever it is."
"Listen for a minute," said he: "I had a brother Edward, as good a lad
as ever was; a boisterous, healthy fellow. We had an old nurse in our
family who came from Irish hills, faithful and kind to us both. There
came a change over Edward. He appeared not to take the same interest in
his sports. One day he came to me, looking a bit pale, and said: 'Galt,
I think I should like to study for the Church.' I laughed at it, yet it
troubled me in a way, for I saw he was not well. I told Martha, the
nurse. She shook her head sadly, and said: 'Edward is not for the
Church, but you, my lad. He is for heaven.'
"'For heaven, Martha?' laughed I.
"'In truth for heaven,' she replied, 'and that soon. The look of his eye
is doom. I've seen it since I swaddled him, and he will go suddenly.'
"I was angry, and I said to her,--though she thought she spoke the
truth,--'This is only Irish croaking. We'll have the banshee next.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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