Mrs. Raffles: Being the Adventures of an Amateur CrackswomanBangs, John Kendrick
General
Mrs. Raffles: Being the Adventures of an Amateur Crackswoman
Bangs, John Kendrick
Hornung, E. W. (Ernest William), 1866-1921 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Jewel thieves -- Fiction
Then the automobile rides began, and pretty nearly every morning, long
before polite society was awake, Colonel Scrappe and Henriette took long
runs together through the country in her Mercedes machine, for what
purpose I snever knew, for whatever interest the colonel might have had
in our welfare as a landlord I could not for the life of me guess how it
could be extended to our automobiles. One thing I did notice, however,
was a growing coldness between Henriette and Mrs. Gushington-Andrews.
The latter came to a card-party at Bolivar Lodge one afternoon about two
weeks after Colonel Scrappe's return, and her greeting to her hostess
instead of having the old-time effusiveness was frigid to a degree. In
fact, when they clasped hands I doubt if more than the tips of their
fingers touched. Moreover, Mrs. Gushington-Andrews, hitherto considered
one of the best fists at bridge or hearts in the 400, actually won the
booby prize, which I saw her throw into the street when she departed. It
was evident something had happened to disturb her equanimity.
My eyes were finally opened by a remark made at the club by Digby,
Reggie de Pelt's valet, who asked me how I liked my new boss, and whose
explanation of the question led to a complete revelation of the true
facts in the case. Everybody knew, he said, that from the moment she had
met him Mrs. Van Raffles had set her cap for Colonel Scrappe, and that
meeting her for the first time he had fallen head over heels in love
with her even in the presence of his fiancee. Of course I hotly denied
Digby's insinuations, and we got so warm over the discussion that when I
returned home that night I had two badly discolored eyes, and
Digby--well, Digby didn't go home at all. Both of us were suspended from
the Gentleman's Gentleman's Club for four weeks for ungentleman's
ungentlemanly behavior in consequence. Black as my eyes were, however, I
was on hand at the breakfast-table the following morning, and of course
Henriette observed my injuries.
"Why, Bunny!" she cried. "What is the meaning of this? Have you been
fighting?"
"Oh no, Mrs. Van Raffles," I returned, sarcastically, "I've just
strained my eyes reading the divorce news from South Dakota."
She gave a sudden start.
"What do you mean?" she demanded, her face flushing hotly.
"You know well enough what I mean," I retorted, angrily. "Your goings on
with Colonel Scrappe are the talk of the town, and I got these eyes in a
little discussion of your matrimonial intentions. That's all."
"Leave the room instantly!" she cried, rising and haughtily pointing to
the door. "You are insufferable."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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