My Autobiography: A FragmentMüller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Religion
My Autobiography: A Fragment
Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Asianists -- Germany -- Biography; Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max), 1823-1900
I remember the time when I woke with my breath frozen on my bedclothes
into a thin sheet of ice. We were expected to wash and dress in an
attic where the windows were so thickly frozen as to admit hardly any
light in the morning, and where, when we tried to break the ice in the
jug, there were only a few drops of water left at the bottom with
which to wash. No wonder that the ablutions were expeditious. After
they were performed we had our speedy breakfast, consisting of a cup
of coffee and a _semmel_ or roll, and then we rushed to school, often
through the snow that had not yet been swept away from the pavement.
We sat in school from eight to eleven or twelve, rushed home again,
had our very simple dinner, and then back to school, from two to four.
How we lived through it I sometimes wonder, for we were thinly clad
and often wet with rain or snow; and yet we enjoyed our life as boys
only can enjoy it, and had no time to be ill. One blessing this early
roughing has left me for life—a power of enjoying many things which
to most of my friends are matters of course or of no consequence. The
background of my life at Dessau and at Leipzig may seem dark, but it
has only served to make the later years of my life all the brighter
and warmer.
The more I think about that distant, now very distant past, the more I
feel how, without being aware of it, my whole character was formed by
it. The unspoiled primitiveness of life at Dessau as it was when I was
at school there till the age of twelve, would be extremely difficult
to describe in all its details. Everybody seemed to know everybody and
everything about everybody. Everybody knew that he was watched, and
gossip, in the best sense of the word, ruled supreme in the little
town. Gossip was, in fact, public opinion with all its good and all
its bad features. Still the result was that no one could afford to
lose caste, and that everybody behaved as well as he could. I really
believe that the private life of the people of Dessau at the beginning
of the century was blameless. The great evils of society did not
exist, and if now and then there was a black sheep, his or her life
became a burden to them. Everybody knew what had happened, and society
being on the whole so blameless, was all the more merciless on the
sinners, whether their sins were great or small. So from the very
first my idea was that there were only two classes—one class quite
perfect and pure as angels, the other black sheep, and altogether
unspeakable. There was no transition, no intermediate links, no
shading of light and dark. A man was either black or white, and this
rigid rule applied not only to moral character, but intellectual
excellence also was measured by the same standard. A work of art was
either superlatively beautiful, or it was contemptible. A man of
science was either a giant or a humbug. Some people spoke of Goethe as
the greatest of all poets and philosophers the world had ever known;
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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