Kentucky -- Fiction; Self-actualization (Psychology) in women -- Fiction
Horace called for more sugar for his last cup of coffee, and Theodosia
searched the sideboard and the pantry. “I’m part Irish,” he said. “And I
need more sugar.” When Siver was called he found a little in an unused
sugar dish on a high shelf. Theodosia knew the indifferent economic plan
of the house. Either Horace or Anthony paid the bills, as they had money
by. It was Anthony who owned the house, his inheritance along with the
farm, Linden Hill, which had now passed to other hands. There had been
some talk between Anthony and Mr. Reed of a mortgage, and when Horace
went to his rehearsal she looked for the word mortgage in a dictionary to
find its meaning.
* * * * *
From beyond her playing, as a recitative, Albert and his declarations
reached her continually. “I hope you’re keepen the count of the weeks,”
he said. “Six weeks is what you’ve got to get ready in.” Her continual
reply, spoken or unspoken, beat and throbbed with the pulse of the music
as she advanced her lyric work and won praise from her master, “I want to
play the fiddle to the end of the earth. I want to go to the end of music
and look over the edge at what’s on the other side.”
She thought of Albert as strong and good. She knew the beauty of his
vigorous body, clean as it was with health. On the hills beyond the town
the laborers were burning the plant beds and making ready for the long
growing year. From her chamber she saw the smoke arise and “They’re
burning tobacco beds,” she said, her mind running over the fields in a
swift going and over the earth as it lay away in shield-like masses that
were brown now with the uses of winter. “He makes love like a tomcat,”
her lips said suddenly once while she paused in her playing to tinker
with a bad string. “Albert. He makes love like a tomcat.”
The music teacher had her changing moods; in her entrance her mood was
stated, in her down-flung coat and her quick bowing; but her presence,
whatever it was, would never crush her student’s zeal.
“What’s that? I want to do that,” Theodosia said. “I want to learn to do
that. I intend to learn it. Give it to me for an exercise. It can’t get
away from me. I will have it. I want it.”
“You will never do that in this world,” she said. “Your hand wasn’t
made for that. You couldn’t do successive octaves, Miss. Don’t cry for
the moon. Artificial harmonics will always be beyond you. It’s no great
matter.”
They were laughing, speaking idly. “I want it. I want that passage inside
my skin. It’ll liberate my soul. I must have a showy, idle, ornamental
soul, full of ruffles and grill-work. I want that very passage. Oh, God,
how I want it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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