My Lady Nicotine: A Study in SmokeBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
My Lady Nicotine: A Study in Smoke
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Smoking -- Anecdotes; Tobacco -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor, Pictorial
"At Colico I put the difficulty to her father; but he is stout, and did
not understand its magnitude. He said he could not see how it mattered.
As for her, I have never mentioned it to her again; but she is always
thinking of it, and so am I. A wall has risen up between us, and how to
get over it or whether I have any right to get over it, I know not. Will
you help me--and her?"
"Certainly not," I said.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
CHAPTER XIX.
PRIMUS.
Primus is my brother's eldest son, and he once spent his Easter
holidays with me. I did not want him, nor was he anxious to come, but
circumstances were too strong for us, and, to be just to Primus, he did
his best to show me that I was not in his way. He was then at the age
when boys begin to address each other by their surnames.
I have said that I always took care not to know how much tobacco I
smoked in a week, and therefore I may be hinting a libel on Primus when
I say that while he was with me the Arcadia disappeared mysteriously.
Though he spoke respectfully of the Mixture--as became my nephew--he
tumbled it on to the table, so that he might make a telephone out of
the tins, and he had a passion for what he called "snipping cigars."
Scrymgeour gave him a cigar-cutter which was pistol-shaped. You put the
cigar end in a hole, pull the trigger, and the cigar was snipped. The
simplicity of the thing fascinated Primus, and after his return to
school I found that he had broken into my Cabana boxes and snipped
nearly three hundred cigars.
[Illustration]
As soon as he arrived Primus laid siege to the heart of William John,
captured it in six hours, and demoralized it in twenty-four. We, who had
known William John for years, considered him very practical, but Primus
fired him with tales of dark deeds at "old Poppy's"--which was Primus's
handy name for his preceptor--and in a short time William John was so
full of romance that we could not trust him to black our boots. He and
Primus had a scheme for seizing a lugger and becoming pirates, when
Primus was to be captain, William John first lieutenant, and old Poppy a
prisoner. To the crew was added a boy with a catapult, one Johnny Fox,
who was another victim of the tyrant Poppy, and they practised walking
the plank at Scrymgeour's window. The plank was pushed nearly half-way
out at the window, and you walked up it until it toppled and you were
flung into the quadrangle. Such was the romance of William John that he
walked the plank with his arms tied, shouting scornfully, by request,
"Captain Kidd, I defy you! ha, ha! the buccaneer does not live who
will blanch the cheeks of Dick, the Doughty Tar!" Then William John
disappeared, and had to be put in poultices.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account