My Lady Nicotine: A Study in SmokeBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
My Lady Nicotine: A Study in Smoke
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Smoking -- Anecdotes; Tobacco -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor, Pictorial
"RESPECTED SIR:--I venture to address you on a subject of jeneral
interest to all engaged in education, and the subject I venture to
address you on is, 'My Hollidays and How I Turned Them to Account.'
Three weeks and two days has now elapsed since I quitted your scholastic
establishment, and I quitted your scholastic establishment with tears
in my eyes, it being the one of all the scholastic establishments I
have been at that I loved to reside in, and everybody was of an amiable
disposition. Hollidays is good for making us renew our studdies with
redoubled vigor, the mussels needing to be invigorated, and I have not
overworked mind and body in my hollidays. I found my uncle well, and
drove in a handsome to the door, and he thought I was much improved both
in appearance and manners; and I said it was jew to the loving care
of my teacher making improvement in appearance and manners a pleasure
to the youth of England. My uncle was partiklarly pleased with the
improvement I had made, not only in my appearance and manners, but also
in my studies; and I told him Casear was the Latin writer I liked best,
and quoted '_veni, vidi, vici_,' and some others which I regret I
cannot mind at present. With your kind permission I should like to write
you a line about how I spend my days during the hollidays; and my first
way of spending my days during the hollidays is whatsoever my hands find
to do doing it with all my might; also setting my face nobly against
hurting the fealings of others, and minding to say, before I go to
sleep, 'Something attempted, something done, to earn a night's repose,'
as advised by you, my esteemed communicant. I spend my days during the
hollidays getting up early, so as to be down in time for breakfast, and
not to give no trouble. At breakfast I behave like a model, so as to set
a good example; and then I go out for a walk with my esteemed young
friend, John Fox, whom I chose carefully for a friend, fearing to
corrupt my morals by holding communications with rude boys. The J. Fox
whom I mentioned is esteemed by all who knows him as of a unusually
gentle disposition; and you know him, respected sir, yourself, he being
in my form, and best known in regretble slang as 'Foxy.' We walks in
Hyde Park admiring the works of nature, and keeps up our classics
when we see a tree by calling it 'arbor' and then going through the
declensions; but we never climbs trees for fear of messing the clothes
bestowed upon us by our beloved parents in the sweat of their brow;
and we scorns to fling stones at the beautiful warblers which fill the
atmosfere with music. In the afternoons I spend my days during the
hollidays talking with the housekeeper about the things she understands,
like not taking off my flannels till June 15, and also praising the
matron at the school for seeing about the socks. In the evening I devote
myself to whatever good cause I can think of; and I always take off my
boots and put on my slippers, so as not to soil the carpet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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