My Lady Nicotine: A Study in SmokeBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
My Lady Nicotine: A Study in Smoke
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Smoking -- Anecdotes; Tobacco -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor, Pictorial
Pettigrew asked me to come to his house one evening and test some
tobacco that had been grown in his brother's Devonshire garden. I had
so far had no opportunity of judging for myself whether this attempt
to grow tobacco on English soil was to succeed. Very complimentary was
Pettigrew's assertion that he had restrained himself from trying the
tobacco until we could test it in company. At the dinner-table while
Mrs. Pettigrew was present we managed to talk for a time of other
matters; but the tobacco was on our minds, and I was glad to see that,
despite her raillery, my hostess had a genuine interest in the coming
experiment. She drew an amusing picture, no doubt a little exaggerated,
of her husband's difficulty in refraining from testing the tobacco until
my arrival, declaring that every time she entered the smoking-room she
found him staring at it. Pettigrew took this in good part, and informed
me that she had carried the tobacco several times into the drawing-room
to show it proudly to her friends. He was very delighted, he said, that
I was to remain over night, as that would give us a long evening to test
the tobacco thoroughly. A neighbor of his had also been experimenting;
and Pettigrew, who has a considerable sense of humor, told me a
diverting story about this gentleman and his friends having passed
judgment on home-grown tobacco after smoking one pipe of it! We were
laughing over the ridiculously unsatisfactory character of this test
(so called) when we adjourned to the smoking-room. Before we did so Mrs.
Pettigrew bade me good-night. She had also left strict orders with the
servants that we were on no account to be disturbed.
As soon as we were comfortably seated in our smoking-chairs, which takes
longer than some people think, Pettigrew offered me a Cabana. I would
have preferred to begin at once with the tobacco; but of course he was
my host, and I put myself entirely in his hands. I noticed that, from
the moment his wife left us, he was a little excited, talking more than
is his wont. He seemed to think that he was not doing his duty as a
host if the conversation flagged for a moment, and what was still more
curious, he spoke of everything except his garden tobacco. I emphasize
this here at starting, lest any one should think that I was in any way
responsible for the manner in which our experiment was conducted. If
fault there was, it lies at Pettigrew's door. I remember distinctly
asking him--not in a half-hearted way, but boldly--to produce his
tobacco. I did this at an early hour of the proceedings, immediately
after I had lighted a second cigar. The reason I took that cigar will
be obvious to every gentleman who smokes. Had I declined it, Pettigrew
might have thought that I disliked the brand, which would have been
painful to him. However, he did not at once bring out the tobacco;
indeed, his precise words, I remember, were that we had lots of time.
As his guest I could not press him further.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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