"'Shaw, on the other hand, will cry down in choicest Gaelic all the glories of war. It will be the biggest fun out. "'And then, _entre nous_, could you not bring with you a Lais, a Phryne or two, in their original costumes as they allured all you naughty Greeks in times bygone? It would be charmingly revolting. When I dimly represent to myself how the young eagles of society will tremble with pleasure at the thought of adding to their lists of conquests, in pink and white, a Corinthian or Athenian _demi-mondaine_ of two thousand years ago, I feel that I am a Personality. "'If I could offer such an unheard-of opportunity I should get first leaders in the _Manchester Guardian_ and mild rebukes, full of secret zest, in the godly _Guardian_; let alone other noble papers read by the goody-goody ones. The _Record_ would send me a testimonial signed by the leading higher critics. I should be the heroine of the day and of the night.'" The gods and heroes encouraged Alcibiades by their gay laughter to tell them all that happened at the "At Home" of his American lady friend, and he continued as follows: "When the evening of the Greek _soirée_ came, I went to the drawing-room in company with Phryne and Lais, who were most charmingly dressed as flute-girls. When we entered the large room we saw a vast assembly of women and men, mostly dressed in the preposterous fashion of the little ones. The women looked like zoological specimens, some resembling Brazilian butterflies, others reptiles, others again snakes or birds of prey. The upper part of their bodies was uncovered, no matter whether the rest of the body had gone through countless campaigns enlivened by numerous capitulations, or whether it had just expanded into the buds of rosy spring. The men looked like the clowns in our farces. They wore a costume that no Greek slave would have donned. It was all black and all of the same cut. Instead of looking enterprising, they all looked like undertakers. Each of them made a nervous attempt to appear as inoffensive, and as self-effacing as possible; just like undertakers entering the house where a person had died. "When we entered the room the whole assembly rose and cried: 'Cairo--Cairo!' (they were told to cry _Chaire_--but in vain). I could distinctly hear remarks such as these: 'How weird!'--'Is it not uncanny?'--'It makes me feel creepy!' After a few minutes there was a deep silence, and an elderly gentleman came up through the middle of the room and, bowing first to us and then to the people assembled, stepped up to the platform and began a speech in a strange language, which I vaguely remembered having heard before. "Phryne suddenly began to giggle, and so irresistible was her laughter that both Lais and I could not but join her, especially when in words broken by continuous laughter she told us: "'The old gent pretends to speak Athenian Greek!'