Noughts and Crosses: Stories, Studies and SketchesQuiller-Couch, Arthur
General
Noughts and Crosses: Stories, Studies and Sketches
Quiller-Couch, Arthur
Manners and customs -- Fiction; Short stories
"You remember, sir, the story of the baker in Langius? He narrates
that a certain woman conceived a violent desire to bite the naked
shoulders of a baker who used to pass underneath her window with his
wares. So imperative did this longing become, that at length the
woman appealed to her husband, who (being a good-natured man, and
unwilling to disoblige her) hired the baker, for a certain price, to
come and be bitten. The man allowed her two bites, but denied a
third, being unable to contain himself for pain. The author goes on
to relate that, for want of this third bite, she bore one dead child,
and two living. My own case," continued the Reverend William, "was
somewhat similar. Lydia's unrelieved babble reacted upon her bulk,
and awoke in me an absorbing, fascinating desire to strike her.
I longed to see her quiver. I fought against the feeling, stifled
it, trod it down: it awoke again. It filled my thoughts, my dreams;
it gnawed me like a vulture. A hundred times while she sat
complacently turning her inane periods, I had to hug my fist to my
breast, lest it should leap out and strike her senseless. Do I weary
you? Let me proceed:--
"That Sunday evening we sat, one on each side of the hearth, in the
Vicarage drawing-room. She was talking--talking; and I sat tapping
my foot and whispering to myself, 'You are too fat, Lydia, you are
too fat.' Her talk ran on the two sermons I had preached that day,
the dresses of the congregation, the expense of living, the parish
ailments--inexhaustible, trivial, relentless. Suddenly she looked up
and our eyes met. Her voice trailed off and dropped like a bird
wounded in full flight. She stood up and took a step towards me.
'Is anything the matter, William?' she asked solicitously. 'You are
too fat, my dear,' I answered, laughing, and struck her full in the
face with my fist.
"She did not quiver much--not half enough--but dropped like a
half-full sack on to the carpet. I caught up a candle and examined
her. Her neck was dislocated. She was quite dead."
The madman skipped up from his boulder, and looked at me with
indescribable cunning.
"I am so glad, sir," he said, "that you did not bleed when I struck
you; it was a great mercy. The sight of blood affects me--ah!" he
broke off with a subtle quiver and drew a long breath. "Do you know
the sands by Woeful Ness--the Twin Brothers?" he asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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