Half an hour passed, but Jimmy did not return. No one felt sufficiently
energetic to go after him. We had only just strength enough to sit still
and feebly abuse him. At the end of an hour we were all feeling very
much better. At the end of an hour and a half we were glad he had not
returned when he ought to have, and were only curious as to what had
become of him.
In the evening, strolling through the village, we saw him sitting by the
open door of his mother's cottage, with a shawl wrapped round him. He
was looking worn and ill.
"Why, Jimmy," I said, "what's the matter? Why didn't you come back this
morning?"
"I couldn't, sir," Jimmy answered, "I was so queer. Mother made me go to
bed."
"You seemed all right in the morning," I said; "what's made you queer?"
"What Mr. Jones give me, sir: it upset me awful."
A light broke in upon me.
"What did you say, Jimmy, when you got to Mr. Jones's shop?" I asked.
"I told 'im what you said, sir, that 'e was to give me something to
counteract the effects of vegetable poisoning. And that it was to be
very strong, and enough for four."
"And what did he say?"
"'E said that was only your nonsense, sir, and that I'd better have
enough for one to begin with; and then 'e asked me if I'd been eating
green apples again."
"And you told him?"
"Yees, sir, I told 'im I'd 'ad a few, and 'e said it served me right, and
that 'e 'oped it would be a warning to me. And then 'e put something
fizzy in a glass and told me to drink it."
"And you drank it?"
"Yees, sir."
"It never occurred to you, Jimmy, that there was nothing the matter with
you--that you were never feeling better in your life, and that you did
not require any medicine?"
"No, sir."
"Did one single scintilla of thought of any kind occur to you in
connection with the matter, Jimmy, from beginning to end?"
"No, sir."
People who never met Jimmy disbelieve this story. They argue that its
premises are in disaccord with the known laws governing human nature,
that its details do not square with the average of probability. People
who have seen and conversed with Jimmy accept it with simple faith.
The advent of Jephson--which I trust the reader has not entirely
forgotten--cheered us up considerably. Jephson was always at his best
when all other things were at their worst. It was not that he struggled
in Mark Tapley fashion to appear most cheerful when most depressed; it
was that petty misfortunes and mishaps genuinely amused and inspirited
him. Most of us can recall our unpleasant experiences with amused
affection; Jephson possessed the robuster philosophy that enabled him to
enjoy his during their actual progress. He arrived drenched to the skin,
chuckling hugely at the idea of having come down on a visit to a
houseboat in such weather.
Under his warming influence, the hard lines on our faces thawed, and by
supper time we were, as all Englishmen and women who wish to enjoy life
should be, independent of the weather.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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