Things were now, indeed, looking very serious, and I could not see by
what possible means we should escape. Still, there was so much buoyancy
in my disposition, that, even then, I did not give up all hope. I am
afraid that I cannot say I was sustained by any higher principle. The
thought of what death was, did, however, come over me; and I tried to
pray, to prepare myself for the world into which I saw every probability
that I was about to enter. Still, though I wanted to pray, and wished
to go to heaven, I made but a very feeble attempt to do so. I had been
so long unaccustomed to pray, that I could not now find the thoughts or
the words required. My heart was not in a praying state. I had not
sought reconciliation with God. I did not know in what to trust,
through whom I could alone go into the presence of my Maker cleansed
from my sins, relieved from the weight of the sinful nature in which I
was born. Of all this I remained perfectly ignorant. I felt very
wretched, like a drowning wretch without a spar or a plank of which I
might catch hold.
I learned, however, an important lesson. Oh! do you, who read this
notice of my life, learn it from me. Do not suppose that the time is
_coming_ when you may begin to prepare for another world. The time is
_come now_ with all of you. From the period you entered this world,
from the moment the power of thought and speech was given you, the time
had arrived for you prepare for the world to come--that eternal world of
glory and joy unspeakable, or of misery, regret, and anguish. Remember
this--note it well--don't ever let it be out of your thoughts. You were
sent into this transient, fleeting world, for one sole object--that you
might prepare yourselves in it for the everlasting future. Not that you
might amuse yourselves--not that you might gain wealth, and honours, and
reputation--not that you might study hard, and obtain prizes at school
or college--that you might be the leader in all manly--exercises--that
you might speak well, or sing well, or draw well, or attain excellence
in science--or that you might become rich merchants, or judges, or
generals, or admirals, or ambassadors, or, indeed, attain the head of
any professions you may choose. These things are all lawful; it may be
your duty thus to rise, but it should not be your aim, it should not
alone be in your thoughts; you should have a far higher motive for
labouring hard, for employing your talents: that motive should be to
please God, to obey the laws and precepts of our Lord and Master. All
should be done from love to him. If you have not got that love for him,
pray for it, strive for it, look for guidance from above that you may
obtain it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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