As she ceased, Bess looked for comfort into the countenance of her
companion, never seeing through her tears how pale it was with
sudden grief, how stern with repressed emotion. She only saw the
friend whom Jamie loved and that tie drew her toward him as to an
elder brother to whom she turned for help, unconscious then how
great his own need was.
“I never knew of this before, Bess; you kept your secret well” he
said, trying to seem unchanged.
The color deepened in her cheek; but she answered simply, “I never
spoke of it, for words could do no good, and Jamie grieved silently
about it, for he thought it a great sacrifice, though I looked on it
as a sacred duty, and he often wearied himself to show in many
loving ways how freshly he remembered it. My grateful little Jamie.”
And her eyes wandered to the green tree-tops tossing in the wind,
whose shadows flickered pleasantly above the child.
“Let me think a little, Bess, before I counsel you. Keep a good
heart and rest assured that I will help you if I can,” said Walter,
trying to speak hopefully.
“But you come to tell me something; at least, I fancied I saw some
good tidings in your face just now. Forgive my selfish grief, and
see how gladly I will sympathize with any joy of yours.”
“It is nothing, Bess, another time will do as well,” he answered,
eager to be gone lest he should betray what must be kept most
closely now.
“It never will be told, Bess,--never in this world,” he sighed
bitterly as he went back to his own room which never in his darkest
hours had seemed so dreary; for now the bright hope of his life was
gone.
“I have it in my power to make them happy,” he mused as he sat
alone, “but I cannot do it, for in this separation lies my only
hope. He may die or may grow weary, and then to whom will Bess turn
for comfort but to me? I will work on, earn riches and a name, and
if that hour should come, then in her desolation I will offer all to
Bess and surely she will listen and accept. Yet it were a generous
thing to make her happiness at once, forgetful of my own. How shall
I bear to see her waiting patiently, while youth and hope are fading
slowly, and know that I might end her weary trial and join two
faithful hearts? Oh, Jamie, I wish to Heaven I were asleep with you,
freed from the temptations that beset me. It is so easy to perceive
the right, so hard to do it.”
The sound of that familiar name, uttered despairingly, aloud, fell
with a sweet and solemn music upon Walter's ear. A flood of tender
memories swept away the present, and brought back the past. He
thought of that short life, so full of pain and yet of patience, of
the sunny nature which no cloud could overshadow, and the simple
trust which was its strength and guide.
He thought of that last night and saw now with clearer eyes the
sacrifices and the trials silently borne for love of Bess.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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