Slowly passed that day for Elena; still more slowly dragged on the long,
long night. Elena sat on her bed, her arms clasping her knees, and her
head laid on them; then she walked to the window, pressed her burning
forehead against the cold glass, and thought and thought, going over and
over the same thoughts till she was exhausted. Her heart seemed turned
to stone, she did not feel it, but the veins in her head throbbed
painfully, her hair stifled her, and her lips were dry. ‘He will come...
he did not say good-bye to mamma... he will not deceive me... Can Andrei
Petrovitch have been right? It cannot be... He didn’t promise to come
in words... Can I have parted from him for ever----?’ Those were the
thoughts that never left her, literally never left her; they did not
come and come again; they were for ever turning like a mist moving about
in her brain. ‘He loves me!’ suddenly flashed through her, setting her
whole nature on fire, and she gazed fixedly into the darkness; a secret
smile parted her lips, seen by none, but she quickly shook her head,
and clasped her hands behind her neck, and again her former thought hung
like a mist about her. Before morning she undressed and went to bed,
but she could not sleep. The first fiery ray of sunlight fell upon her
room... ‘Oh, if he loves me!’ she cried suddenly, and unabashed by the
light shining on her, she opened wide her arms... She got up, dressed,
and went down. No one in the house was awake yet. She went into the
garden, but in the garden it was peaceful, green, and fresh; the birds
chirped so confidingly, and the flowers peeped out so gaily that she
could not bear it. ‘Oh!’ she thought, ‘if it is true, no blade of grass
is happy as I. But is it true?’ She went back to her room and, to kill
time, she began changing her dress. But everything slipped out of her
hands, and she was still sitting half-dressed before her looking-glass
when she was summoned to morning tea. She went down; her mother noticed
her pallor, but only said: ‘How interesting you are to-day,’ and taking
her in in a glance, she added: ‘How well that dress suits you; you
should always put it on when you want to make an impression on any one.’
Elena made no reply, and sat down in a corner. Meanwhile it struck nine
o’clock; there were only two haurs now till eleven. Elena tried to read,
then to sew, then to read again, then she vowed to herself to walk a
hundred times up and down one alley, and paced it a hundred times; then
for a long time she watched Anna Vassilyevna laying out the cards for
patience... and looked at the clock; it was not yet ten. Shubin came
into the drawing-room. She tried to talk to him, and begged his pardon,
what for she did not know herself.... Every word she uttered did not
cost her effort exactly, but roused a kind of amazement in herself.
Shubin bent over her. She expected ridicule, raised her eyes, and saw
before her a sorrowful and sympathetic face.... She smiled at this face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account