On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be ActorJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be Actor
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Actors -- Great Britain -- Biography; Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927
Some managers saved themselves the trouble of running away, and
attempted to throw an air of respectability over the proceeding, by
paying their company about one-and-sixpence apiece on treasury day,
stating that they were very sorry, but that the thing had been a
failure; that the houses had been all paper, the expenses unusually
heavy, or any other of the stock lies always on hand. And he would
think to comfort them by telling them that he himself had lost money,
as though that were an unanswerable reason for their losing all
theirs!
As to these men losing money of their own, that was impossible. They
had not any to lose. Whatever they lost was somebody else’s; of that
you may be sure. They were men without any capital whatever, and they
made use of actors merely as cat’s paws in a speculation where all the
risks were with the company, and all the advantages with themselves.
The “share” system was worse even than this. It meant, in plain
language, that, if the undertaking failed, the actors shared the
losses amongst them, and, if it succeeded, the manager pocketed the
profits.
As a matter of fact, actors were then the least considered, and the
most imposed upon of any people connected with the stage. If, at that
time, one of my friends had started as a theatrical manager, I might,
with a view of saving him unnecessary expense, have given him the
following hints:
“You must pay your bill-poster, or he won’t stick up your bills, or,
if he does, it will be topsyturvy. Pay for your advertisements, or
they won’t get inserted. Pay your carpenters and sceneshifters, or
they’ll make it decidedly uncomfortable for you. Pay your money-takers
or they’ll pay themselves; your gas, or it will be cut off; your rent,
or you will be turned into the street. Be careful to pay the supers,
too, or you’ll find when it is time for them to go on that they’ve all
gone off. For goodness sake, don’t keep your charwoman waiting for her
wages; you’ll not have five minutes’ quiet until she is satisfied.
And if you don’t wish to find yourself in the County Court on Monday
morning, pay your call boy on Saturday night. You _must_ pay these
people. It is not a case of choice, there is simply no help for you;
if you don’t you’ll have to shut up shop in a couple of days. _But you
needn’t pay any one else_. If you have a few shillings left that
you really don’t know what to do with, you might divide it among the
actors and actresses; but you can please yourself entirely about this.
They work just the same whether they are paid or not.
“Your author, by the by, is another person you never need pay. Indeed,
in his case, it would be positively dangerous to do so. There is no
telling what effect such a shock might have upon him.
“Your company will, it is true, pester you a good deal for their
money, and grumble and threaten, but it never comes to anything, and,
after a while, you get used to it, and don’t mind.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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