English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
Really I know nothing about flowers. By a bit of luck, James, my
gardener, whom I pay half a crown a week for combing the beds, knows
nothing about them either; so my ignorance remains undiscovered. But in
other people's gardens I have to make something of an effort to keep up
appearances. Without flattering myself I may say that I have acquired a
certain manner; I give the impression of the garden lover, or the man
with shares in a seed company, or--or something.
For instance, at Creek Cottage, Mrs. Atherley will say to me, "That's an
_Amphilobertus Gemini_," pointing to something which I hadn't noticed
behind a rake.
"I am not a bit surprised," I say calmly.
"And a _Gladiophinium Banksii_ next to it."
"I suspected it," I confess in a hoarse whisper.
Towards flowers whose names I know I adopt a different tone.
"Aren't you surprised to see daffodils out so early?" says Mrs. Atherley
with pride.
"There are lots out in London," I mention casually. "In the shops."
"So there are grapes," says Miss Atherley.
"I was not talking about grapes," I reply stiffly.
However, at Creek Cottage just now I can afford to be natural; for it is
not gardening which comes under discussion these days, but
landscape-gardening, and any one can be an authority on that. The
Atherleys, fired by my tales of Sandringham, Chatsworth, Arundel, and
other places where I am constantly spending the week-end, are
readjusting their two-acre field. In future it will not be called "the
garden," but "the grounds."
I was privileged to be shown over the grounds on my last visit to Creek
Cottage.
"Here," said Mrs. Atherley, "we are having a plantation. It will keep
the wind off; and we shall often sit here in the early days of summer.
That's a weeping ash in the middle. There's another one over there.
They'll be lovely, you know."
"What's that?" I asked, pointing to a bit of black stick on the left;
which, even more than the other trees, gave the impression of having
been left there by the gardener while he went for his lunch.
"That's a weeping willow."
"This is rather a tearful corner of the grounds," apologized Miss
Atherley. "We'll show you something brighter directly. Look
there--that's the oak in which King Charles lay hid. At least, it will
be when it's grown a bit."
"Let's go on to the shrubbery," said Mrs. Atherley. "We are having a new
grass path from here to the shrubbery. It's going to be called Henry's
Walk."
Miss Atherley has a small brother called Henry. Also there were eight
Kings of England called Henry. Many a time and oft one of those nine
Henrys has paced up and down this grassy walk, his head bent, his hands
clasped behind his back; while behind his furrowed brow, who shall say
what world-schemes were hatching? Is it the thought of Wolsey which
makes him frown--or is he wondering where he left his catapult? Ah! who
can tell us? Let us leave a veil of mystery over it ... for the sake of
the next visitor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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