Opium Eating: An Autobiographical Sketch by an HabituateAnonymous
History
Opium Eating: An Autobiographical Sketch by an Habituate
Anonymous
Opium abuse -- United States; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Prisoners and prisons
for want of energy and force the poor victim--perhaps to the crime of some
one else,--and nothing but black looks and condemnation from his
fellow-man does he receive; he, from whom even the face of his Maker
seems almost turned away, as he winds his weary pilgrimage through a chaos
of unutterable woe down to his soon-forgotten grave.
"Here lies one who prostituted every human gift to the use of opium," is
the verdict upon a life of more suffering and more effort, perhaps, than
appears in the life of one in ten thousand.
For, be it known, everything accomplished by an opium eater is done in the
sweat of blood, and with the load of Atlas weighing upon the spirit.
But the reader must pardon me. I seem to gravitate naturally towards the
results in the latter stages, to which a great part of that I have just
written must apply,--especially where I speak of one having a right to
denounce opium "always, even while taking advantage of its best
manifestations." Before opium has injured a man, and in the very
commencement of the habit, should he wilfully use the drug as a means of
giving him pleasure, and brilliancy to his mind, when the requirements of
the habit do not make the taking of the opium necessary, he is to blame;
but let him long continue in this practice, and he will find to his sorrow
that all the mental power the stimulation of opium can give him would not
equal that of his natural abilities, unincumbered by the habit.
CHAPTER X.
THE DELUSIONS AND MISERIES OF THE FIRST STAGES OF OPIUM EATING.
From the first unlucky indulgence "till he that died to-day," the habitual
use of opium is attended with gloom, despondency, and unhappiness.
The victim takes his first dose and feels exalted, serene, confident. His
intellectual faculties are so adjusted that he needs but call and they
obey; discipline and order reign. His load of care, the tedium of life,
his aches and pains, and "the spurns that patient merit of the unworthy
takes," are all lifted from his shoulders, as the sun lifts the
mist-clouds from the river, and care-soothing peace in rich effulgence
smiles in upon his soul. The beams pour in, the clouds disperse, and all
is bright as noonday.
But this calm is only that which precedes the storm. The nerves, that
system of exquisite mechanism in man, have been interfered with and
abused. There has been an unnatural strain; the harmony of tension has
been disturbed and deranged, and now, instead of discipline and
equanimity, cruel disorder and distraction rule the hour, and collapse and
utter exhaustion follow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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