“Then he began stuffing me and explained to me that all we should have to do would be to refill the barrel with the water his wife had displaced as soon as she should have left. All the water we should pour in would be the measure. I supposed about ten pails; that would be a cubic metre. He isn't a fool, all the same, when he is drunk, that old horse. “To be brief, we reached his house and I took a look at its mistress. A beautiful woman she certainly was not. Anyone can see her, for there she is. I said to myself: 'I am disappointed, but never mind, she will be of value; handsome or ugly, it is all the same, is it not, monsieur le president?' And then I saw that she was as thin as a rail. I said to myself: 'She will not measure four hundred litres.' I understand the matter, it being in liquids. “She told you about the proceeding. I even let her keep on her chemise and stockings, to my own disadvantage. “When that was done she ran away. I said: 'Look out, Brument! she is escaping.' “He replied: 'Do not be afraid. I will catch her all right. She will have to come back to sleep, I will measure the deficit.' “We measured. Not four pailfuls. Ha, Ha, Ha!” The witness began to laugh so persistently that a gendarme was obliged to punch him in the back. Having quieted down, he resumed: “In short, Brument exclaimed: 'Nothing doing, that is not enough.' I bawled and bawled, and bawled again, he punched me, I hit back. That would have kept on till the Day of judgment, seeing we were both drunk. “Then came the gendarmes! They swore at us, they took us off to prison. I want damages.” He sat down. Brument confirmed in every particular the statements of his accomplice. The jury, in consternation, retired to deliberate. At the end of an hour they returned a verdict of acquittal for the defendants, with some severe strictures on the dignity of marriage, and establishing the precise limitations of business transactions. Brument went home to the domestic roof accompanied by his wife. Cornu went back to his business. THE IMPOLITE SEX Madame de X. to Madame de L. ETRETAT, Friday. My Dear Aunt: I am coming to see you without anyone knowing it. I shall be at Les Fresnes on the 2d of September, the day before the hunting season opens, as I do not want to miss it, so that I may tease these gentlemen. You are too good, aunt, and you will allow them, as you usually do when there are no strange guests, to come to table, under pretext of fatigue, without dressing or shaving for the occasion. They are delighted, of course, when I am not present. But I shall be there and will hold a review, like a general, at dinner time; and, if I find a single one of them at all careless in dress, no matter how little, I mean to send them down to the kitchen with the servants.