Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined SocietyYoung, John H.
General
Our Deportment: Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society
Young, John H.
Etiquette
Young persons appear ridiculous when satirizing or ridiculing books,
people or things. Opinions to be worth the consideration of others
should have the advantage of coming from mature persons. Cultivated
people are not in the habit of resorting to such weapons as satire and
ridicule. They find too much to correct in themselves to indulge in
coarse censure of the conduct of others, who may not have had advantages
equal to their own.
TITLES.
In addressing persons with titles always add the name; as "what do you
think of it, Doctor Hayes?" not "what do you think of it, Doctor?" In
speaking of foreigners the reverse of the English rule is observed. No
matter what the title of a Frenchman is, he is always addressed as
_Monsieur_, and you never omit the word _Madame_, whether addressing a
duchess or a dressmaker. The former is "_Madame la Duchesse_," the
latter plain "_Madame_." Always give a foreigner his title. If General
Sherman travels in Europe and is received by the best classes with the
dignity that his worth, culture and position as an American general
demand, he will never be called Mr. Sherman, but his title will
invariably precede his name. There are persons who fancy that the
omission of the title is annoying to the party who possesses it, but
this is not the ground taken why the title should be given, but because
it reveals either ignorance or ill-breeding on the part of those
omitting it.
CHRISTIAN NAMES.
There is a class of persons, who from ignorance of the customs of good
society, or from carelessness, speak of persons by their Christian
names, who are neither relations nor intimate friends. This is a
familiarity which, outside of the family circle, and beyond friends of
the closest intimacy, is never indulged in by the well-bred.
INTERRUPTION.
Interruption of the speech of others is a great sin against
good-breeding. It has been aptly said that if you interrupt a speaker in
the middle of a sentence, you act almost as rudely as if, when walking
with a companion, you were to thrust yourself before him and stop his
progress.
ADAPTABILITY IN CONVERSATION.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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