Our Square and the People in ItAdams, Samuel Hopkins
General
Our Square and the People in It
Adams, Samuel Hopkins
New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories
Taxmun formed romantics hopefully surmise upon a first reading, but
a worthy though humble enterprise of hygiene and cleanliness more
specifically set forth in the legend running, crimson, across the top of
his business card:--
BOGGS KILLS BUGS
Once in the long ago that explicit announcement had flamed upon the
house front. It yielded to the more dignified form when Madam Tallafferr
took Mr. Boggs's top floor. She said that it was objectionable and that
she could not live over it, and the landlord, duly impressed, sacrificed
his prized alliteration rather than lose a lodger so elegant and
aristocratic. Mr. Boggs had a vast, albeit distant, reverence for
aristocracy, and he recognized in Madam Tallafferr a true exponent. So
the sign came down and she went up. With her went her furniture,
scanty but magnificent, a silver-inlaid lock box locally credited with
safeguarding the Pemberton family diamonds, Sempronius, who was fat and
black and a cat, and Old Sally, who was fat and black and a thief. For
five years Madam Tallafferr dwelt above the lethal Boggs, and at the end
of that period Our Square knew hardly more of her than on the day of her
arrival. She was polite, but resolutely aloof as befitted her station in
life.
For Mr. Boggs's lodger was all that is most glorious in Southern
lineage. Her full style and title was Madam Rachel Pinckney Pemberton
Tallafferr, with two Is, two fs, and two rs, if you valued her favor.
She was passionately devoted to the Lost Cause, and belonged to no less
than seven “Daughters-of” organizations with sumptuous stationery.
Mr. Boggs was very proud of her mail. He said she had the swellest
correspondence in Our Square. When letters arrived bearing her name
without the requisite double Is, fs, and rs, they were invariably
returned to the postman indorsed in a firm, fine hand: “No such
individual known here.” But if the letters appeared important, the
kindly and admiring Angel of Death used to intercept them and supply
the missing consonants from his own inkwell. In this way he accumulated
considerable information, and was able to apprise Our Square that his
lodger was superstitious, subscribed to a dream magazine, and belonged
to a Spirit Guidance Group. He darkly suspected the spirits of giving
her bad advice about investments.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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