Pages from a Journal with Other PapersWhite, William Hale
General
Pages from a Journal with Other Papers
White, William Hale
English essays
“Charles stayed for about six weeks, and was then called home. He
promised that he would pay another visit of a week in the autumn, when
Sir Robert was to entertain the Lord Lieutenant and there were to be
grand doings at the Hall. Conversation naturally turned upon him during
his absence, and Phyllis, as usual, was warm in his praise. One evening,
after she had reached her own room and had lain down to sleep, a strange
apparition surprised her. It was something more than a suspicion that
she herself loved Charles. She strove to rid herself of this intrusion:
she called to mind the difference in their rank; that she was five years
his senior, and that if she yielded she would be guilty of treachery to
Evelina. It was all in vain; the more she resisted the more vividly did
his image present itself, and she was greatly distressed. What was the
meaning of this outbreak of emotion, not altogether spiritual, of this
loss of self-possession, such as she had never known before? Her usual
remedies against evil thoughts failed her, and, worst of all, there was
the constant suggestion that these particular thoughts were not evil.
Hitherto, when temptation had attacked her, she was sure whence it came,
but she was not sure now. It might be an interposition of Providence,
but how would it appear to Evelina? I myself, my dears, have generally
found that to resist the devil is not difficult if I am quite certain
that the creature before me is the devil, but it does tax my wits
sometimes to find out if he is really the enemy or not. When Apollyon
met Christian he was not in doubt for an instant, for the monster was
hideous to behold: he had scales like a fish, wings like a dragon, feet
like a bear, out of his belly came fire and smoke, and his mouth was as
the mouth of a lion. After some parleying he cast his dreadful dart, but
Christian, without more ado, put up his shield, drew his sword, and
presently triumphed. If Satan had turned himself, from his head to his
ankles, into a man, and had walked by Christian’s side, and had talked
with him, and had agreed with him in everything he had to say, the bear’s
claws might have peeped out, but Christian, instead of fighting, would
have begun to argue with himself whether the evidence of the face or the
foot was the stronger. He would have been just as likely to trust the
face, and in a few moments he would have been snapped up and carried off
to hell. To go on with my story: the night wore on in sophistry and
struggle, and no inner light dawned with the sun. Phyllis was much
agitated, for in the afternoon Charles was to return, and although amidst
the crowd of visitors she might be overlooked, she could not help seeing
him. She did see him, but did not speak to him. He sat next to Evelina
at dinner, who was happy and expectant. The next day there was a grand
meet of the hounds, and almost all the party disappeared. Phyllis
pleaded a headache, and obtained permission to stay at home. It was a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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