A secret stillness fell upon people; they pondered and were silent;
their eyes awaited the winter. No more calling from the drying grounds:
the harbour lay quiet. Everything was moving towards the eternal winter
of the northern lights, when the sun sleeps in the sea. Dull came the
sound of the oars from a lonely boat.
A girl came rowing.
“Where have you been, my girl?”
“Nowhere.”
“Nowhere? Look, I recognize you: I met you last summer.”
She brought the boat in, stepped ashore, made fast.
“You were herding goats. You stopped to fasten your stocking. I met you
one night.”
A little flush rose to her cheeks, and she laughed shyly.
“Little goat-girl, come into the hut and let me look at you. I knew your
name, too--it is Henriette.”
But she walked past me without speaking. The autumn, the winter, had
laid hold of her too; her senses drowsed.
Already the sun had gone to sea.
XXXIV
And I put on my uniform for the first time, and went down to Sirilund.
My heart was beating.
I remembered everything from the day when Edwarda had come hurrying to
me and embraced me before them all. Now she had thrown me hither and
thither for many months, and made my hair turn grey. My own fault? Yes,
my star had led me astray. I thought: How she would chuckle if I were to
throw myself at her feet and tell her the secret of my heart to-day!
She would offer me a chair and have wine brought in, and just as she was
raising the glass to her lips to drink with me, she would say:
“Lieutenant, I thank you for the time we have been together. I shall
never forget it!” But when I grew glad and felt a little hope, she'd
pretend to drink, and set down the glass untouched. And she wouldn't
hide from me that she'd only been pretending to drink; she'd be careful
to let me see it. That was her way.
Good--it was nearing the last hour now.
And as I walked down the road I thought further: My uniform will impress
her; the trappings are new and handsome. The sword will rattle against
the floor. A nervous joy thrilled me, and I whispered to myself: Who
knows what may happen yet? I raised my head and threw out a hand. No
more humility now--a man's honour and pride! Whatever came of it, I
would make no more advances now. Pardon me, my fair one, for not asking
your hand...
Herr Mack met me in the courtyard, greyer still, more hollow-eyed.
“Going away? So? I suppose you've not been very comfortable lately, eh?
Your hut burned down...” And Herr Mack smiled.
In a moment it seemed as if the wisest man in the world stood before my
eyes.
“Go indoors, Lieutenant; Edwarda is there. Well, I will say good-bye.
See you on the quay, I suppose, when the vessel sails.” He walked off,
with head bowed in thought, whistling.
Edwarda was sitting indoors, reading. At the instant of my entering, she
started at my uniform; she looked at me sideways like a bird, and even
blushed. She opened her mouth.
“I have come to say good-bye,” I managed to get out at last.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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