Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
Parodies
Ponderous projectiles, hurled by heavy hands,
Fell on our Liberty’s poor infant head,
Ere she a stadium had well advanced
On the great path that to her greatness led;
Her temple’s propylon was shattered;
Yet thanks to saving Grace and Washington,
Her incubus was from her bosom hurled;
And, rising like a cloud-dispelling sun,
She took the oil, with which her hair was curled,
To grease the “Hub” round which revolves the world.
This fine production is rather heavy for an “anthem,” and
contains too much of Boston to be considered strictly
national. To set such an “anthem” to music would require a
Wagner; and even were it really accommodated to a tune, it
could only be whistled by the populace.
We now come to a
NATIONAL ANTHEM
BY JOHN GREENLEAF W――――.
My native land, thy Puritanic stock
Still finds its roots firm-bound in Plymouth Rock,
And all thy sons unite in one grand wish――
To keep the virtues of Preserv-ed Fish.
Preserv-ed Fish, the Deacon stern and true,
Told our New England what her sons should do,
And should they swerve from loyalty and right,
Then the whole land were lost indeed in night.
The sectional bias of this “anthem” renders it unsuitable for
use in that small margin of the world situated outside of New
England. Hence the above must be rejected.
Here we have a very curious
NATIONAL ANTHEM
BY DR. OLIVER WENDELL H――――.
A diagnosis of our hist’ry proves
Our native land a land its native loves;
Its birth a deed obstetric without peer,
Its growth a source of wonder far and near.
To love it more behold how foreign shores
Sink into nothingness beside its stores;
Hyde Park at best――though counted ultra-grand――
The “Boston Common” of Victoria’s land――
The committee must not be blamed for rejecting the above,
after reading thus far; for such an “anthem” could only be
sung by a college of surgeons, or a Beacon-street tea-party.
Turn we now to a
NATIONAL ANTHEM
BY RALPH WALDO E――――.
Source immaterial of material naught,
Focus of light infinitesimal,
Sum of all things by sleepless Nature wrought,
Of which abnormal man is decimal.
Refract, in prism immortal, from thy stars
To the stars blent incipient on our flag,
The beam translucent, neutrifying death;
And raise to immortality the rag.
This “anthem” was greatly praised by a celebrated German
scholar; but the committee felt obliged to reject it on
account of its too childish simplicity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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