Peck's Bad Boy and His Pa: 1883Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
General
Peck's Bad Boy and His Pa: 1883
Peck, George W. (George Wilbur)
American wit and humor; Boys -- Fiction; Practical jokes -- Fiction
“Whew! What is that smells so about this store? It seems as though
everything had turned frowy,” said the grocery man to his clerk, in the
presence of the bad boy, who was standing with his back to the stove,
his coat tails parted with his hands, and a cigarette in his mouth.
“May be it is me that smells frowy,” said the boy as he put his thumbs
in the armholes of his vest, and spit at the keyhole in the door. “I
have gone into business.”
“By thunder, I believe it is you,” said the grocery man, as he went up
to the boy, snuffed a couple of times, and then held his hand to his
nose. “The board of health will kerosene you, if they ever smell that
smell, and send you to the glue factory. What business you gone into to
make you smell so rank?”
“Well, you see Pa began to think it was time I learned a trade, or a
perfession, and he saw a sign in a drug store window, 'boy wanted,' and
as he had a boy he didn't want, he went to the druggist and got a job
for me. This smell on me will go off in a few weeks. You know I wanted
to try all the perfumery in the store, and after I had got about forty
different extracts on my clothes, another boy that worked there he fixed
up a bottle of benzine and assafety and brimstone, and a whole lot of
other horrid stuff, and labeled it 'rose geranium,' and I guess I just
wallered in it. It _is_ awful, aint it? It kerflummixed Ma when I went
into the dining-room the first night that I got home from the store,
and broke Pa all up, He said I reminded him of the time that they had a
litter of skunks under the barn. The air seemed fixed around where I
am, and everybody seems to know who fixed it. A girl came in the store
yesterday to buy a satchet, and there wasn't anybody there but me, and I
didn't know what it was, and I took down everything in the store pretty
near, before I found it, and then I wouldn't have found it only the
proprietor came in. The girl asked the proprietor if there wasn't a
good deal of sewer-gas in the store, and he told me to go out and shake
myself. I think the girl was mad at me because I got a nursing bottle
out of the show case, with a rubber muzzle, and asked her if that was
what she wanted. Well, she told me a satchet was something for the
stummick, and I thought a nursing bottle was the nearest thing to it.”
“I should think you would drive all the customers away from the store,”
said the grocery man, as he opened the door to let the fresh air in.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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