There was a Winton Auto on the stage when the curtain rose, and from then until the happy couple boarded the Green Line Flyer in the last scene the interest was intense. There was a shipwreck, where all hands were saved by floating ashore on Ivory Soap,--it floats,--and you should have heard the applause when the hero laughed in the villain's face and said, “Kill me, then. I have no fear. I am insured in the Prudential Insurance Company. It has the strength of Port Arthur.” We substituted a groanograph--the kind that hears its master's voice--for the hand-organ that was in the original play, and every speech and song brought to mind some article that was worthy of patronage. The first-night audience went wild with delight. You should have heard them cheer when our ushers passed around post-cards and pencils between the acts, in order that they might write for catalogues and samples to our advertisers. Across the bottom of each card was printed, “I heard your advertisement in the 'Princess of Pilliwink.'” Run? That play ran like a startled deer I It drew such crowded houses that we had to post signs at the door announcing that we would only sell tickets to thin men and women; and then we had an especially narrow opera chair constructed, so that we were able to seat ten more people on each row. The play had plenty of variety, too. Perkins had thought of that. He sold the time by the month; and, when an ad. expired, he only sold the space to a new advertiser. Thus one month there was a lullaby about Ostermoor mattresses,--the kind that advertises moth-eaten horses to show what it isn't made of,--and it ran:-- “Bye, oh! my little fairy. On the mattress sanitary Sent on thirty days' free trial Softly sleep and sweetly smile. “Bye, oh! bye! my little baby, Though your poor dad busted may be. Thirty days have not passed yet, So sleep well, my little pet.” And when Perkins sold this time space the next month to the makers of the Fireproof Aluminum Coffin, we cut out the lullaby, and inserted the following cheerful ditty, which always brought tears to the eyes of the audience:-- “Screw the lid on tightly, father, Darling ma has far to go; She must take the elevator Up above or down below. “Screw the lid on tightly, father, Darling ma goes far to-night; To the banks of rolling Jordan, Or to realms of anthracite. “Screw the lid on tightly, father, Leave no chinks for heated air, For if ma is going one place, There's no fire insurance there.”