Much merriment was afforded one evening at a party, to which a naval captain, who is now dead, was invited. He had come in from a long cruise, and had been paying his addresses to a certain young lady living on one of the islands; but the tongue of slander had been busy against him during his absence, and on his making a proposal she refused him. This came to the ears of the lady of the house, who, wishing to quiz the poor man, and to be very facetious, forgetting that her husband had but one eye, and was not very handsome otherwise, began her attack thus: “So, Captain ----, I hear Miss ---- has refused you,” and went on very cruelly to torment the poor man, in his distress, as ladies _can_ do sometimes when they wish to be _mischievous_. He bore it all for a long time with great patience and forbearance; being goaded at length beyond endurance, he rose from his chair and said, “Mrs. ----, when such an old, ugly fellow as your husband, with but one eye, can get a pretty young woman like yourself for a wife, I ought never to despair.” And out he walked, the tables fairly turned on the facetious dame. Having mentioned the word “slander” in the above anecdote, I am induced to add another story by way of advice to young ladies. Whenever your friend--and many young ladies have a confidential one--abuses or throws out hints to the prejudice of your absent lover, listen to her with caution. The following little tale will point out the necessity of not relying entirely upon the recommendation of bosom friends in love affairs, for it is an old saying that all advantages in love, war, law, and elections are considered fair. Two young ladies from twenty-three to twenty-five years of age, who lived in a large town in the north, were first cousins, and dear confidential friends; the one, a widow, had soft, pretty, languishing, blue eyes, that said, “pray do love me;” the other, a spinster, had black, sparkling eyes, that said, “you shall love me.” The former had an offer of marriage from a widower, who had a son about fifteen years of age, whom he wished to put into a profession previous to his marriage, but wanted some ready money to do so. He, therefore, proposed that the fair widow should advance him the money necessary to enable him to do it. She, very properly, consulted her friends; some gave one opinion, some another. She hesitated between love and money--she called in her cousin, Miss Black-eyes, who strongly advised her by no means to part with her cash. She still hesitated, asked other advice--sent for her cousin again--went so far as to purchase her wedding dress and make preparations for furnishing a house. In the meanwhile Miss Black-eyes had had frequent communications with the gentleman, and also with her cousin. At last, she got some friends to back her opinion, and, finally, the match was broken off. But the same day the spinster gave the money to the gentleman, who had a license ready--off they went to the next parish and were married.