_Sir John._ Come then; one Brimmer to all your Healths. [_The Footman gives him a Glass half full._] Pray, Friend, what was the rest of this Glass made for? An Inch at the Top, Friend, is worth two at the Bottom. [_He gets a Brimmer, and drinks it off._] Well, there’s no Deceit in a Brimmer, and there’s no false _Latin_ in this; your Wine is excellent good, so I thank you for the next, for I am sure of this: Madam, has your Ladyship any Commands in _Darbyshire_? I must go Fifteen Miles To-night. _Lady Smart._ None, Sir _John_, but to take Care of Yourself; and my most humble Service to your Lady unknown. _Sir John._ Well, Madam, I can but love and thank you. _Lady Smart._ Here, bring Water to wash; tho’, really, you have all eaten so little, that you have no need to wash your Mouths.—— _Ld. Smart._ But, pr’ythee, Sir _John_, stay awhile longer. _Sir John._ No, my Lord; I am to smoke a Pipe with a Friend before I leave the Town. _Col._ Why, Sir _John_, had not you better set out To-morrow? _Sir John._ Colonel, you forget To-morrow is _Sunday_. _Col._ Now I always love to begin a Journey on _Sundays_, because I shall have the Prayers of the Church, to preserve all that travel by Land, or by Water. _Sir John._ Well, Colonel; thou art a mad Fellow to make a Priest of. _Neverout._ Fie, Sir _John_, do you take Tobacco? How can you make a Chimney of your Mouth? _Sir John_ [_to Neverout._] What! you don’t smoke, I warrant you, but you smock. (Ladies, I beg your Pardon.) Colonel, do you never smoke? _Col._ No, Sir _John_; but I take a Pipe sometimes. _Sir John._ I’faith, one of your finical _London_ Blades dined with me last Year in _Darbyshire_; so, after Dinner, I took a Pipe; so my Gentleman turn’d away his Head: So, said I, What, Sir, do you never smoke? So, he answered as you do, Colonel; No, but I sometimes take a Pipe: So, he took a Pipe in his Hand, and fiddled with it till he broke it: So, said I, Pray, Sir, can you make a Pipe? So, he said No; so, said I, Why, then, Sir, if you can’t make a Pipe, you should not break a Pipe; so, we all laugh’d. _Ld. Smart._ Well; but, Sir _John_, they say, that the Corruption of Pipes is the Generation of Stoppers. _Sir John._ Colonel, I hear, you go sometimes to _Darbyshire_; I wish you would come and foul a Plate with me. _Col._ I hope, you’ll give me a Soldier’s Bottle. _Sir John._ Come, and try. Mr. _Neverout_, you are a Town-Wit, can you tell me what kind of Herb is Tobacco? _Neverout._ Why, an _Indian_ Herb, Sir _John_. _Sir John._ No,’tis a Pot Herb; and so here’s t’ye in a Pot of my Lord’s _October_. _Lady Smart._ I hear, Sir _John_, since you are married, you have forsworn the Town. _Sir John._ No, Madam; I never forswore any thing but building of Churches. _Lady Smart._ Well; but, Sir _John_, when may we hope to see you again in _London_? _Sir John._ Why, Madam, not till the Ducks have eat up the Dirt; as the Children say.