Good manners and good morals alike follow the Golden Rule: "Whatsoever ye would that others should do to you, do ye even so to them." Egotism and selfishness are the bane of both. True politeness consists in considering the pleasure of others as a thing in itself, without regard to your own advantage. If an attention is paid, a gift given, a service rendered, these should be done solely for the recipient's happiness, not with a view to his making a return in kind, possibly with interest. It is good manners to call on people who will be pleased to see you; not on those whom you wish to see, but to whom you and your affairs are of no concern. A first visit to a newcomer in town is right and proper. A stranger is presumed to be desirous of making friends, but the first call ought to indicate whether or not he and you have that community of interest which is essential to friendship. If you are the newcomer, it is your duty to show your appreciation of the attention by returning first calls, but you should so act that your hosts will feel free to continue the acquaintance if it will be agreeable to them, or discontinue it if it is not. Indeed, in every situation you should give the other party this choice. Friendship is one of the most valuable forms of social energy, and it should carefully be conserved. Yet more than any other form it is wasted, because of a false regard for social conventions. At how many calls are both parties bored! How many persons--women in particular, who have not the man's freedom in selecting associates--continue in the treadmill round of an uncongenial social circle! To escape from this may require the special exercise of will, and the incurring of criticism, but these ought to be assumed. However, in most cases, a woman may gradually escape from the distasteful circle and form new and more congenial friends without remark. After the brightening effects on mind and spirits of social intercourse comes the advantage of toning up the personal appearance. A decent self-respect in dress should always be flavored with a touch of pride, for this is an excellent preservative. To have a proper pride, there must be the incentive of the presence of other people whose admiration we may win. Pride in dress is naturally conjoined with the care of the person. There is an excellent term for this, which, though borrowed from the stable, carries with it only sweet and wholesome suggestions. It is "well-groomed." A well-groomed woman is not only a well-gowned woman, but one who, like a favorite mare, is always spick and span in her person, and happy in her quiet consciousness of it. And every woman, whether she possesses a maid or not, indeed, whether she has fine gowns or not, may win the admiration of all her associates by her "grooming." CHAPTER XI GENERAL PRINCIPLES OF COOKING