Prejudices, fifth seriesMencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
History
Prejudices, fifth series
Mencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
American essays -- 20th century; American literature -- History and criticism; Literature -- History and criticism
His place has been taken by the village pastor. The pastor got into
public affairs by the route of Prohibition. The shrewd shysters who
developed the Anti-Saloon League made a politician of him, and once
he had got a taste of power he was eager for more. It came very
quickly. As industry penetrated to the rural regions the new-blown
Babbitts began to sense his capacity for safeguarding the established
order, and so he was given the job: he became a local Billy Sunday.
And, simultaneously the old-line politicians, taught a lesson by the
Anti-Saloon League, began to defer to him in general, as they had
yielded to him in particular. He was consulted about candidacies; he
had his say about policies. The local school-board soon became his
private preserve. The wandering cony-catchers of the tin-pot fraternal
orders found him a useful man. He was, by now, a specialist in all
forms of public rectitude, from teetotalism to patriotism. He was put
up on days of ceremony to sob for the flag, vice the county judge,
retired. When the Klan burst upon the peasants all of his new duties
were synthetized. He was obviously the chief local repository of its
sublime principles, theological, social, ethnological and patriotic.
In every country town in America to-day, wherever the Klan continues
to rowel the hinds, its chief engine is a clerk in holy orders. If the
Baptists are strong, their pastor is that engine. Failing Baptists, the
heroic work is assumed by the Methodist parson, or the Presbyterian, or
the Campbellite. Without these sacerdotal props the Invisible Empire
would have faded long ago.
What one mainly notices about these ambassadors of Christ, observing
them in the mass, is their vast lack of sound information and sound
sense. They constitute, perhaps, the most ignorant class of teachers
ever set up to lead a civilized people; they are even more ignorant
than the county superintendents of schools. Learning, indeed, is not
esteemed in the evangelical denominations, and any literate plowhand,
if the Holy Spirit inflames him, is thought to be fit to preach. Is
he commonly sent, as a preliminary, to a training camp, to college?
But what a college! You will find one in every mountain valley of
the land, with its single building in its bare pasture lot, and its
faculty of half-idiot pedagogues and broken-down preachers. One man, in
such a college, teaches oratory, ancient history, arithmetic and Old
Testament exegesis. The aspirant comes in from the barnyard, and goes
back in a year or two to the village. His body of knowledge is that
of a street-car motorman or a vaudeville actor. But he has learned the
clichés of his craft, and he has got him a long-tailed coat, and so he
has made his escape from the harsh labors of his ancestors, and is set
up as a fountain of light and learning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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