Problematic Characters: A NovelSpielhagen, Friedrich
General
Problematic Characters: A Novel
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
Oswald slipped on tiptoe into the boys' room. He wanted to
see at least one dear face, Bruno's face. The first dawn was peeping
into the room through the closed curtains; it was quite cool there.
Bruno had again left the window open all night, as he liked to do.
Oswald closed it, for the morning air was blowing in and Bruno's face
was heated by a restless dream. Again he was lying there, as in the
first night when Oswald saw him, with his arms crossed on his breast,
dark defiance on his weird, beautiful face. But when Oswald kissed him
on his forehead he did not open his eyes, as before, to smile upon him
in blissful dreams; he did not open his lips, as before, to whisper to
him the touching words: I love you! the dark brows almost met, and pain
contracted the proud lips. At any other time Oswald would have looked
upon this as a mere accident, but now, in his momentarily softened
humor, it pained him. "Is he still angry," he thought, "because I left
him at home yesterday? Does he feel that he has no longer all my love?
And yet, do I not love him all the more now?" He pushed the hair gently
from the boy's forehead; he wrapped the covering closer around his
delicate limbs, and crept out of the room again, with heavy heart. A
sad anticipation of a great sorrow passed through him. Was it to happen
to him, to Bruno, and alas! perhaps, even to her, after this blessed
happiness! He hastened down into the garden to breathe more freely in
the open air, and wandered about in the walks and avenues, and shook
the dew from the branches into his feverish face, and looked with his
dim, wearied eyes into the pious, childlike eyes of the flowers. In the
kitchen-garden he found the gardener at work. He was a man, at least,
and Oswald longed to hear a human voice. He spoke to the man, a thing
he had never done before; he asked him if he was married? Whether he
had any children? Did he love his children very much? The man gave him
those awkward, half answers, which such people generally return to our
questions--it is not that they feel less than the higher classes, but
they are not accustomed to analyze their feelings and to clothe them in
appropriate words. It is this which often gives them the appearance of
indifference. He became more talkative when he was questioned about his
work; he spoke with delight of the glorious weather, magnificent
sunshine, alternating with warm rains and thunder-storms. But Oswald
only heard him half, and left the old man suddenly, who lifted his cap,
looked after him in astonishment, shook his head and continued his
work. Oswald wandered on and on restlessly, but soon the garden felt
too confined; he passed through the open space enclosed by the high
wall, and hurried out into the fields, from the fields into the forest,
and on and on towards the roar which fell upon his ear, first
indistinctly, then louder and louder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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