Psmith, JournalistWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith, Journalist
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
Master Maloney, who had taken advantage of the interruption to edge
farther into the room, now appeared to consider the question of his
departure permanently shelved. He sidled to a corner and sat down
on an empty soap-box with the air of a dramatic critic at the
opening night of a new play. The scene looked good to him. It
promised interesting developments. Master Maloney was an earnest
student of the drama, as exhibited in the theatres of the East
Side, and few had ever applauded the hero of "Escaped from
Sing-Sing," or hissed the villain of "Nellie, the Beautiful
Cloak-Model" with more fervour than he. He liked his drama to have
plenty of action, and to his practised eye this one promised well.
Psmith he looked upon as a quite amiable lunatic, from whom little
was to be expected; but there was a set expression on Billy
Windsor's face which suggested great things.
His pleasure was abruptly quenched. Billy Windsor, placing a firm
hand on his collar, led him to the door and pushed him out, closing
the door behind him.
The rent collector watched these things with a puzzled eye. He now
turned to Psmith.
"Say, seen anything of the wops that live here?" he inquired.
"I am addressing--?" said Psmith courteously.
"My name's Gooch."
Psmith bowed.
"Touching these wops, Comrade Gooch," he said, "I fear there is
little chance of your seeing them to-night, unless you wait some
considerable time. With one of them--the son and heir of the
family, I should say--we have just been having a highly interesting
and informative chat. Comrade Maloney, who has just left us, acted
as interpreter. The father, I am told, is in the dungeon below the
castle moat for a brief spell for punching his foreman in the
eye. The result? The rent is not forthcoming."
"Then it's outside for theirs," said Mr. Gooch definitely.
"It's a big shame," broke in Billy, "turning the kid out. Where's
he to go?"
"That's up to him. Nothing to do with me. I'm only acting under
orders from up top."
"Whose orders, Comrade Gooch?" inquired Psmith.
"The gent who owns this joint."
"Who is he?" said Billy.
Suspicion crept into the protruding eyes of the rent collector. He
waxed wroth. "Say!" he demanded. "Who are you two guys, anyway, and
what do you think you're doing here? That's what I'd like to know.
What do you want with the name of the owner of this place? What
business is it of yours?"
"The fact is, Comrade Gooch, we are newspaper men."
"I guessed you were," said Mr. Gooch with triumph. "You can't bluff
me. Well, it's no good, boys. I've nothing for you. You'd better
chase off and try something else."
He became more friendly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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