American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
He had gone to sleep apparently in his usual health, but when he woke
up in the morning he had lost his control of words. He could not bring
them into the simplest order. He could not command a single one to his
use. He could not say who he was, nor where he wanted to go, although
he knew these facts perfectly. The moment he tried to speak, there
swooped down between him and his meaning, a darkening throng of words.
All the words in the world were there, Greek, Sanscrit, Provençal,
Italian, Old-French, tearing furiously through his mind. But not the
simple words in his own language to say that he was Professor Paul
Meyer of the École des Chartes, who wanted to buy a ticket to Paris.
He stood there, helpless, facing the staring chambermaids, cut off
from them, from every one by this wild, invisible storm. They thought
him an idiot, escaped from his friends, and ran away from him. As he
told me about it, he looked sick and gray, and the sweat stood out on
his forehead.
It had lasted for three days. For three days and three nights he had
felt himself drowning in words, words that flooded up about him so that
he was fighting for air. Never for an instant was he able to take his
attention from their crazy flight through his mind, and never able to
stop one long enough to use it. He suffered, suffered more than he had
thought any human being could and retain consciousness, had after the
first day fallen into a high fever, so that they feared for his life.
Hour after hour he had lain on his bed, helpless, trying with all his
strength to fight away those words long enough to remember what he
wished to say.
And then, on the morning of the fourth day, click! Something snapped
into place inside his mind, and there he was, very worn, very weak, but
perfectly himself again, Professor Paul Meyer of the École des Chartes.
He had reached home safely, though strengthless and exhausted, and the
next morning had wakened again to that horror. It had lasted an hour
then, but it had come twice since--once as he was lecturing before his
class!
He never knew when it might be upon him. As he opened his mouth to
speak at any moment, he could not be sure that words would not burst
from his command again. Even as he told me this, he glanced at my baby
daughter, whom I had brought out to show him. For an instant his face
whitened in so terrible a glare of panic that I screamed and clutched
his arm. It was over. He was drawing a long breath and wiping his
shaking lips with his handkerchief. “For an instant as I looked at
her I could not think of the word ‘baby,’” he said pitifully. “It was
there, waiting to come on me again.”
It seemed to me that he was not fit to go about the streets alone, and
when he started to go away I asked him if he would not like to have me
take him home. He hung his proud old head and said nothing. I went to
get my hat and as no one happened to be at home with whom to leave the
baby, I took her on my arm.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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