Red Saunders: His Adventures West & EastPhillips, Henry Wallace
General
Red Saunders: His Adventures West & East
Phillips, Henry Wallace
Fiction; Humorous stories
"Well, there came a jar and waked him up.
The box was rolling a little, and going along,
going along forty mile an hour. Scotty lit a
match and found he was in a kind of big
tunnel but the wall was flying by so fast, he
couldn't make out just what kind of a tunnel
it was. Now, he'd gone to sleep in peace and
quiet on a side hill, and to wake up and find
himself boat-riding in a tunnel was enough
to surprise anybody. First he pinched
himself to see if it was Hank's pie, or a cold fact,
found it was a fact, then he lit another match
and leaned over and looked at the black water
underneath, but this made the box tip so it
scart him and he settled down in the bottom
again. He didn't try to think--what was the
use? No man living could have figured things
out with the few facts Scotty had before him.
All of a sudden the box made a rush and shot
out into the air, and Scotty felt they were
falling. 'God sakes!' he says to himself.
'What's next, I wonder?' Then they hit the
water below with a ker-flap that nearly
telescoped Scotty and sent the spray flying. After
that they went along smooth again. 'Well,'
says Scotty, 'I don't know where I am, nor
who I am, nor what's happened, nor who's it,
nor nothing about this game. So far I ain't
been hurt, though, and I might just as well
lie down and get a little more rest.'
"It was broad daylight when he woke up
again, and a man was looking into the box.
'Hello, pardner!' he says. 'I hope you've
had a pleasant journey--do you always travel
this way?'
"Scotty raised up and found his craft was
aground--high and dry--no water within a
hundred feet of it. On one side was quite a
little town.
"'Say,' says he, 'could I trouble you to tell
me where I am, friend?'
"'You're at Placerville,' answers the other.
"'Placerville!' yells Scotty, 'and I went to
sleep at Cutter's Mill, sixty-five miles from
here!--what are you giving us, man?'
"'I'm putting it to you straight,' says the
stranger. 'Take a look around you.'
"Scotty looked and there was all kinds of
wreckage, from a dead beef critter to a wheel
barrow.
"'What in nation's all this?' says he.
"'Washout,' says the man. 'Cloud burst
up on the divide--worst we've ever
had--your box is about high water mark--you see
there was water enough for awhile--I reckon
you're about the only thing that came through
alive.'
"'Well, wouldn't that knock you?' says Scotty.
--"Whilst the rest of the folk at the mill
was taking to the high ground for their lives,
with the water roaring and tearing through
the gulch, Scotty had peacefully gone off in
his little boat, down the creek, and instead of
going over the rapids, where he'd have been
done, for all his luck, the box ambles through
the flume they was building for the new mill.
Of course there was the jounce over the tail
race, but that hadn't hurt him much, and after,
he rocked in the cradle of the deep, until he
got beached at Placerville.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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