Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
She believed she would have had scruples.... Now they were
dispelled.... Alwynne, by fair means or foul, should be detached ...
should become Clare's property ... should be given up to no living woman
or man.
She followed Alwynne into the hall and lit the staircase candle. She
would see Alwynne out. She would have liked to keep Alwynne with her for
a month. She was a delightful companion; it was extraordinary how
indispensable she made herself. Clare knew that her flat would strike
her as a dreary place to return to, when she had shut the door on
Alwynne. She would sit and read and feel restless and lonely. Yet she
did not allow herself to feel lonely as a rule; she scouted the
weakness. But Alwynne wound herself about you, thought Clare, and you
never knew, till she had gone, what a difference she made to you.
She wished she could keep Alwynne another couple of hours.... But it was
eleven already ... her hold was not yet strong enough to warrant
innovations to which Elsbeth could object.... Her time would come
later.... How much later would depend on whether it were affection that
swayed Alwynne, or only a sense of duty.... She believed, because she
hoped, that it was duty--a sense of duty was more easily suborned than
an affection.... For the present, however, Alwynne must be allowed to do
as she thought right. Clare knew when she was beaten, and, with her
capacity for wry admiration of virtues that she had not the faintest
intention of incorporating in her own character, she was able to applaud
Alwynne heartily. Yet she did not intend to make victory easy to her.
They went down the flights of stairs silently, side by side. Alwynne
opened the entrance doors and stood a moment, fascinated.
"Look, Clare! What a night!"
The moon was full and flooded earth and sky with bright, cold light. The
garden, roadway, roofs, trees and fences glittered like powdered
diamonds, white with frost and moonshine. The silence was exquisite.
They stood awhile, enjoying it.
Suddenly Clare shivered. Alwynne became instantly and anxiously
practical.
"Clare, what am I thinking of? Go in at once--you'll catch a dreadful
cold."
With unusual passivity Clare allowed herself to be hurried in. At the
staircase Alwynne said good-bye, handing her her candle, and waiting
till she should have passed out of sight. On the fourth step Clare
hesitated, and turned--
"Alwynne--come to me for Christmas?"
Alwynne flung out her hands.
"Clare! I mustn't."
"Alwynne--come to me for Christmas?"
"You know I mustn't! You know you'd think me a pig if I did, now
wouldn't you?"
"I expect so."
"But I'll come in for a peep at you," cried Alwynne, brightening,
"while Elsbeth's at afternoon service. I could do that. And to say Merry
Christmas!"
"Come to dinner?"
"I can't."
"Then you needn't come at all." Clare turned away.
Alwynne caught her hand, as it leaned on the balustrade. In the other
the candle shook a little.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account