"You will find out faults in Mrs. Loring presently, just like the rest
of them," continued the pitiless writer. (Amy's handwriting was
painfully distinct.) "I must tell you that at the Cowleys' the other
day, I suddenly came face to face with Gertrude Meredith _and Dolly_!
Dolly looks a good deal older already and fatter, I thought. I fear
she is losing her looks, for her colour has become fixed, and she
_will_ wear no collars still, although on a rather thick neck, it's
not at all becoming. I spoke to her for about three minutes, as it was
less awkward, when we met suddenly face to face like that. She laughed
a good deal, and asked for you rather audaciously, I thought. They
live near Winchester now, and since the Colonel's death are pretty
badly off, Gertrude says. Dolly is going to Devonshire to stay with
the Cowleys; you may meet her there any day, remember. It does seem
incredible to me that a man of your discrimination could have been won
by the obvious devotion of a girl like Dolly; but having given your
word I almost think you would better have kept it, rather than suffer
all this criticism from a host of mutual friends."
Lavendar groaned aloud. He had a good memory, and with all too great
distinctness did he now remember Dolly Meredith's laugh. How wretched
it had all been; not a word had ever passed between them that had any
value now. If he could have washed the thought of her forever from his
memory, how greatly he would have rejoiced at that moment.
Well, it was over; written down against him, that he had been what the
world called a jilt and a fool; yes, certainly a fool, but not so
great a one as to follow his folly to its ultimate conclusion, and tie
himself for life to a woman he did not love.
Lavendar was extraordinarily sensitive about the breaking of his
engagement; partly because Miss Meredith herself, in her first rage,
had avowed his responsibility for her blighted future, giving him no
chance for chivalrous behaviour; partly because in all his transient
love affairs he had easily tired of the women who inspired them. He
seemed thirsty for love, but weary of it almost as soon as the draught
reached his lips.
And now had he a chance again?--or was it all to end in disappointment
once more, in that cold disappointment of the heart that has received
stones for bread? It was not entirely his own fault; he had expected
much from life, and hitherto had received very little. But Robinette!
"Let me find all her faults now," he said to himself, "or evermore
keep silent; meantime I hope I am not concealing too many of my
own."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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